Self Worth And Self Love.

Hello my lovelies! We’re one month away from Summer being over, and there’s only 134 days left of the year, and I’ve been doing some reflecting. You see, a lot has happened for me over this last year; and that’s not including the shit show that 2020 has been for the world. Other than 2020 throwing everything at us, this year has been a big year for me in terms of personal growth and transformation.

To list a few of the big things that’ve happened this year for me:

• I left an 8 year relationship.
• I came out as Pansexual to everyone I know.
• I finally started looking after my body and actively changing my thought process around my appearance.
• I finally started looking after my skin.
• I’ve started dating.
• I’ve been running my own freelance business for 10 months.
• I shaved my head.
• I made myself a priority.
• I finally found out what has been causing my chronic back pain for the last 4 years.

Basically, I’ve had a lot going on these past months. And I think I’m finally beginning to realise what I want for myself, and I’ve certainly finally started seeing my own self worth.

This hasn’t been like a light bulb thing for me, it’s been something that I’ve been working on for a long time and has been something I’ve also wanted to write about for a long time too. And the reasoning behind me only just writing this now is because I’m in a place of self acceptance and self love; it always seemed like a weird idea to me to want to write a post about self love and self worth, because there’s still certain things I wouldn’t mind changing about myself, so how on earth could I preach to others about loving yourself if I still had some things that I’d like to change?

But then I remembered that the fact that I’m aware of that and on this journey of self love and knowing my worth is just proof that I’m human and we all have days where we’d change something if we could.

Bottom line though: I’m in a place of acceptance and neutrality with who I am, most days I love myself, and there’s days when I’m just not feeling it, and both are ok and valid.

Loving yourself and who you’re becoming is not big headed or selfish, but being happy with who you are, knowing your worth and not feeling like you need to change to meet someone elses view on what you should or shouldn’t look/speak/act like. Just being comfortable being yourself.

I haven’t spoken a lot about my break up from my long term relationship at the start of the year, but part of the reason why that ended was because I started to realise that I had changed who I was to fit someone else’s ideals and I felt guilty for being myself! I also didn’t really know what I wanted in my future anymore, so it was time to go out and find myself again. And, after 6 months, I now have a very strong idea of what I want for my future, who I am and my worth.

One of the other big things that has helped me change my view of myself was shaving my head. I’ve always wanted to shave my head, and it’s honestly the most liberating thing I’ve ever done; it forced me to start looking at how I see my own beauty, because my hair has always been a security blanket, so without it, I had to start seeing myself in a new light. In this new, badass, give no fucks what others think about my appearance sort of way. And since then, that’s kind of been my motto when it comes to how I look!

Another thing that I now live by is just being completely unapologetically myself. Loving yourself and knowing your worth isn’t being vain or thinking that you’re above everyone else; it’s simply knowing that you’re pretty amazing, and worthy of happiness and great things.

So what are some tips for building up your self love and self worth?

• Tell yourself one nice thing about yourself every day. (cheesy I know, but after doing this for a while things’ll start to sink in)
• If you struggle with body positivity, I highly recommend the 30 day nude challenge. Now, I know how that sounds, but it’s simply taking a photo of yourself every single day (you don’t have to send them to anyone – they’re for your eyes only), without filters or trying to suck in or change your shape can really help you realise that your body is beautiful as it is, and you don’t need to change it to be some instagram model lookalike. I did this challenge myself and it’s made me appreciate how my body looks and now I see it in a completely new positive light, rather than something to be ashamed or embarrassed of. Also, you’ll see how your pictures change over the course of the 30 days, they usually seem better and better and that’s because you start feeling more confident which in return radiates from your photos!
• Wear clothes that make you happy.
• Do something out of your comfort zone. It hasn’t got to be anything big, just something that makes you nervous or anxious, so you can prove to yourself how strong you actually are.
• Acknowledge that you aren’t going to love everything about yourself every single day, and that’s ok.
• Date yourself. You know that warm fuzzy feeling you get when someone treats you? Well did you know that you can give yourself that same feeling by treating yourself that way others do? Something I’m doing is dating myself, so every week or so I’ll take myself out on a date (or have a home date – you know, coronavirus and all that) and I’ll show myself a little love!
• Have boundaries. Learn to say no every now and again. I’m super guilty of saying yes and agreeing to do things when I may not have the time or just might not want to, so something I’m working on is actually saying no when I need to. You don’t have to be rude or anything, just simply saying “sorry, I’ve got too much on at the moment” or “No, sorry” will do the job, and having those boundaries in place will help you not only have more time to get what you need to get done, but also you’ll learn that saying no does not make you a bad person.
• Do something that makes you feel good. Whether that’s singing, dancing, drawing, reading, watching a movie, working out, do what makes you happy.

And those are my self love and self worth tips! How are you doing with your self love journey? I think self love is an ongoing journey for most of us, and it’s important to celebrate ourselves and the little victories we have! What’s your most recent achievement? Let me know in the comments!

Oh, as you may have guessed, over the last few weeks a lot has been happening in my life, so for the new few months posts might be fortnightly, but once everything has settled down my posting schedule will be back to normal again!

Have a great bank holiday my lovelies! Love,

I Embraced My Natural Curls.

This week I’m telling you about a change I decided to start about 4 1/2 weeks ago. And it’s to do with my hair. Now, I’ve done a post about my hair journey before, and you can read that here! But recently I found something called ‘The Curly Girl Method’, and it’s said to be the best way to embrace your natural kinks, curls and waves, and apparently makes your hair healthy and teaches you how to properly manage your hair.

Before I get into what the curly girl method is and what’s involved, I’ll tell you a little about my relationship with my hair. For years and years and years I knew I had curly hair, and I know now that my natural hair is beautiful, but for the longest time I felt like having slightly messy curly hair with a bit of frizz wasn’t very attractive (except when someone else had it… typical!) and that straight and sleek is the only way my hair should be.

I guess it was something that I unfortunately learnt from lack of representation of people with natural hair! I mean, it wasn’t until Disney’s Brave that there was a princess with natural curly (and a bit unruly.. but fab) hair! And how long did that take? YEARS.

So what did I do for years? Well, yes you guessed it! I straightened the living daylights out of it. EVERY SINGLE DAY. And when I say every day, I mean for at least an hour, every day; whether I was going out or not! And then I realised my hair looked nice when I straightened and then curled it.. so that’s what I did. Sounds silly straightening your naturally curly hair to then curl it again doesn’t it?

Yeah, I thought it was ridiculous too. And then I luckily came across the Curly Girl method and I’m so so glad I did!

So.. What is the Curly Girl method exactly?

Well the basis of it is as follows:

• Products are free from sulfates
• Products are free from silicones
• Products are free from damaging alcohols
• No heat to be used on your hair
• Use a micro-fibre towel or t-shirt to dry your hair
• Dry hair on the lowest settings with a diffuser if not airdrying hair

That’s the general jist of it I think! I’m sure I do some things that aren’t entirely Curly Girl friendly but I’m still working on my routine with this new hair care adjustment.

My hair care routine used to be:

Washing my hair every other day with whatever shampoo and conditioner was on offer – and they always had sulfates, silicones and bad alcohols in (partly because I didn’t realise how bad they were!) and then dry it on the hottest heat on my hair dryer, then brush and straighten the hell out of it. To be honest it’s a miracle I still have hair on my head!!

My routine now goes like this: (And I now only wash my hair 1-2 times per week!)

1 . Wash with Curly Girl approved products – I’m currently washing once a week with a clarifying shampoo (to get rid of any build up from styling products) and then with the Noughty Wave Hello Curl Defining Shampoo on my second wash day.

2 . I then do what they call co-washing, which is basically washing your hair with conditioner, the one I’m currently using is the As I Am Coconut Co-Wash Cleansing Conditioner and I use this in the same way I use shampoo, and then after rinsing it out with cool water I apply more to the ends and lengths of my hair.

3 . I then scrunch out excess water.

4 . And then after all of that, I then apply my Cantu Shea Butter Curl Activator Cream to my hair and scrunch it in.

5 . Then wrap my hair in a ‘plop’ with a simple t shirt and leave my hair in that for about 5-10 minutes before I take my hair down.

6 . I then sort of organise my hair I guess? Haha my hair doesn’t necessarily part the same way everyday so I create my parting and then scrunch my curls with my t-shirt to remove more water.

7 . Then comes the mousse! I squirt a dollop of mousse into my hands, rub them together a little and scrunch that into my hair and curls.

8 . If my hair needs more volume at the roots (which it normally does since I have thin hair anyway..) I’ll add in some root clips around my hair part and hairline for about 30 minutes to an hour.

9 . When time’s short, I’ll then diffuse my hair upside down on the lowest settings; and if I’ve got time, I let my hair air dry!

10 . Once my hair’s dry, it then has what the curly haired community call a crunch or cast, which I then crunch out. If I want more volume at my roots I’ll fluff my hair out a bit and use my hair pick to lift my hair up and shake out, and voila! My hair is good to go!

And I know it sounds like way too much work, but in all honesty, applying all of these things actually takes less time than it did when I was straightening my hair! It’s only the air drying that takes a little longer.

And with my results I’m getting, that’s all the motivation I need to keep going! Oh, and the fact that when I’ve done all of this, my curls usually last about 3-4 days, which means waking up, shaking my hair out from my ‘pineapple’ (that’s how I sleep with my curls – scrunchie, silk or satin pillow case and pineapple hair) and about 5 minutes later, I’m usually good to go!

And if my curls are having a bad hair day, I just refresh them using a spray bottle with water and a small amount of conditioner in it and scrunch in some mousse! Simple as that!

I am still going through what they call the transition phase with my hair, in the sense that it’s going to be a while until my hair is really healthy again along with my curls remembering what to do after being washed!

Here’s before I started the curly girl method, when I straightened and then curled the life out of my hair:

Here’s my hair on my first wash day doing the curly girl method:

I know this just looks like a big mess, but I knew that going in to this, I would have to be prepared for my hair looking pretty bad for the first few washes, especially because I am still working out the best methods for washing, styling and drying my hair! Before it’d be a blitz with anything and then a load of heat damage.

Here’s my what my hair looked like for next few weeks:

And here’s my hair as of last week (fluffed out, day 3 hair and trying out new products):

There’s loads of different products out there for curly hair, and it just takes some time working out which ones work for you and your curl type, hair thickness and porosity! If you’re wondering about any of the more complicated stuff like hair porosity, hair protein etc, I highly suggest checking out Jannelle O’Shaughnessy Engels, Curly Susie and Alissa Evelyn‘s YouTubes! They are all curly girls themselves and have great channels devoted to curly hair!

So, what have I learn’t from going completely curly girl friendly?

For a start, I only wish I’d embraced my curls sooner! And I never would’ve thought it’d be this easy to completely stop using straighteners on my hair! I don’t miss them at all! Part of me still can’t quite believe I’ve managed to go all natural, and my hair has never felt so good!

If you’re wondering whether or not to try out the curly girl method of hair-care, I would totally recommend it! I will say, it will take a few months/years to get your hair to a good place where your curls don’t need as much help with products etc, depending on the current condition of your hair, but my hair has only just begun it’s curly journey and I can’t wait to continue my curly journey!

I heard a quote (can’t remember where from) which sums it up pretty perfectly:

“Frizz is just a curl waiting to happen.”

I’ll do a follow up post in a few months so you can see how much my hair has changed! Oh and if you’re wanting to start this hair transformation and aren’t sure what products are curly girl friendly, here’s an article I found helpful!

How do you like to have your hair? Have you gone natural before? Did you like it?

I know I do! haha. I might do a styling post in a few weeks, because I know that on day 3 and 4 hair (before it’s being washed) it can look a little crazy, and sometimes I just want my hair up and out of my face! Is that something you’d like? Let me know in the comments!!

Have a great week lovelies!

Love,

 

 

What Is Classed As Selfcare?

It’s #SelfcareWeek ! And it’s got me thinking, what do we actually think classes as selfcare? For me, I typically start thinking about face masks and bubble baths. And well yes that can be classed as selfcare; but as amazing as those things are, there are hundreds of other things you can do. And over the last few days, I’ve been partaking in a few of these myself.

The thought for this post came to me whilst I was walking home from the gym; it occurred to me that even though I think of lots of luxurious things as self-care, there are lots of small things I do for myself that make me feel good, and these count too.

Here’s a few things I’ve been doing for myself that aren’t always considered self-care:

• Going to the gym, and doing what I want there, if I don’t feel like doing the stair climber today, I just don’t do it and I refuse to feel guilty about it!)
• Buying myself a hot chocolate when walking home after going to the gym.
• Putting on my moisturizer.
• Listening to the Peptalk app (I highly recommend this one for when you’re commuting and walking anywhere, it’s a great motivational tool!)
• Watching videos by Glamour, Ladylike, As/Is and the Try Guys.
• Self Affirmations.
• Watching Nikkietutorials (believe it or not I watch Nikkie’s videos when I’m at the gym and they make me so happy!)
• Cleaning my room.
• Playing with makeup.
• Putting on makeup when I’m not going anywhere!
• Lighting scented candles.
• Having a bubble bath.
• Unfollowing any social media profiles that make me feel bad about myself.
• Watching my favourite films.
• Cooking my favourite food.
• Singing in the shower.
• Talking to friends.
• Finishing work ON TIME.
• Related to the above – not looking at work emails when I’m off work.
• Making myself a great breakfast.
• Blogging.
• Painting, drawing and being creative.
• Getting 7/8 hours sleep.
• Wearing thermal socks.
• Using a 99p face mask.
• Chatting to my sister.
• Seeing my Niece and Nephew on FaceTime reeking havoc in my sisters house.
• Driving round to look at Christmas Lights when they go up.
• Making myself a cup of tea.
• Meeting up with friends for a chat/food/movies (basically spending time with the important people in your life)
• Wearing my favourite clothes.

Honestly the list could go on and on. I love selfcare, sometimes I do still feel selfish or guilty for spending time on ourselves, but we really shouldn’t. We’re stuck with ourselves for life so we better take care of that person we see in the mirror.

And at the end of the day, if something makes you happy and feel good, it’s probably your own version of selfcare. We’re all different so it’s impossible to say that one thing will work for everyone; telling someone to go take a bubble bath to relax if they hate having baths is pretty pointless. It’s a personal thing.

Some of the things in my list you might not consider to be selfcare, but for me, they are. Just doing one small thing for yourself a day can make such a difference to your mood and wellbeing. And myself from a year ago would say something along the lines of “I’ll start next week or in the new year”, but that’s not how I think anymore, the time to start is now.

That’s all from me today, I’m off to go get myself a hot chocolate and sit in a blanket with a book. Have a great weekend lovelies! You’re all amazing!

Love,

P.S. The UK Blog Awards are now open for voting! It’d mean the world to me if you could vote for me my lovelies!! 

Trying Out Bootea For 14 Days

Since I tried BoomBod for a week about 2 months ago, I’ve been getting lots of requests for more posts like that! So over the past 2 weeks I’ve been trying the oh so famous Bootea! I wanted to see if all of the claims it makes are true or if it’s going to be a similar story to my experience with BoomBod.

I will state now though, that these posts aren’t sponsored and that these are just my personal experiences and reviews with these products and how I found them to work! So even if something doesn’t work for me, it doesn’t necessarily mean it won’t work for other people.

Now that that’s out of the way, here’s what I ordered:

(You can buy the two week teatox here!)

So, it is claimed that this teatox “will leave you feeling energized and motivated to reach all of your fitness goals. Beat the bloat and feel better than ever with our two-week programme, complete with Daytime and Bedtime tea bags to keep you on track” – Bootea 14 Day teatox description.

Well, I’m here to put this to the test.. and see if it would do anything for me without changing my lifestyle. Just for the record, I currently work out regularly between 4-6 times a week and have a healthy diet, so whatever happens should be from the teatox.

With the teatox you’re supposed to drink the day tea first thing in the morning and then the night tea every other evening before you go to bed. So if you order it and are wondering why there’s half the night teabags, that’s why.

Right, on with the review! I’ll give you a rundown of how my two weeks went and then show you my photos from throughout the week! First off, here’s what the tea looks like, yes it looks like pee when made, so don’t be alarmed when I goes a yellowy colour!

Day 1 – 3

Thoughts: If this does anything I’ll be impressed, especially because it’s just a cup of tea in the morning and every other night. Taste wise these are okay, the morning tea tastes like a variation of green tea to me; which I personally don’t mind. The night tea however tastes like peppermint tea, which I haven’t ever had before so we’ll see if I end up liking it by the end of this.

Thoughts at the end of day 3: This seems very easy compared to Boombod, and since I love a good cup of tea, this is pretty good if it does anything!

Day 4 – 7

Thoughts: So far I’m not seeing any results, but I am finding that the peppermint night tea helps me fall asleep a bit better than without it. I think I’m starting to get used to the taste of it too which is good. I have found that the morning tea keeps me fuller for longer and I’m finding that I don’t need anything after breakfast to tide me over until lunchtime.

End of day 7 thoughts: I quite like this teatox, but there doesn’t really appear to be any visible results as of yet.

Day 8 – 11

Thoughts: Today I feel like I’m starting to see a little more definition in my stomach, but my stomach still looks bloated in my opinion. At least this is a simple teatox rather than something that’s a hassle to make up every time. One thing I have noticed is that I’ve started looking forward to the teas in the morning and especially in the evenings. I’ve been trying to be mindful as I’m having my tea first thing, which has been quite a good de-stressor for me, so that’s good.

End of day 11 thoughts: I wonder if this would make a difference if I started exercising even more and eating healthier? But then the results could just be from upping my exercise routine and changing my lifestyle further.

Day 12 – 14

Thoughts: I think I might actually re-buy this teatox, purely because I like the taste of it, not because it’s done anything physically. I’m pretty sure the only reason I’ve actually enjoyed this teatox is because I’m a bit of a tea addict, and love a good cuppa to wake up with first thing in the morning, and throughout the day t be honest..haha. These two weeks have gone fast, and I think the only difference physically is very minimal between the start and now, so I do wonder what this tea is actually supposed to do.

End of the 2 weeks thoughts: When I started this I thought that the only thing these teas could possibly do was make you need the loo more, which I doesn’t anymore than normal green tea. And I didn’t expect the tea to do much else, which I have to admit I was right in my opinion.

Here’s my before, during and afters! And as you know by now, I like being real with you on here, so here you’ll get to witness me in my very unsexy pants and pyjamas because I’m not going to dress up and be fake to you guys, this is me (I took these first thing in the morning half asleep!) and what the teatox actually did..haha!

On the left is day 1 of my Bootea journey and the right is after 4 days of the teas.

Here’s what was going on after an entire week of Bootea and then here I am after 11 days of the Teatox.

On the left is before Bootea and the right is after the 2 week Teatox.

What I would take away from this is that if you’re looking for a quick fix to lose weight, this isn’t the answer; sorry, I know for a lot of us we wish it is, but the sad reality is that working hard and eating right is the healthy way to do that.

What I will say is that I have decided to order another batch of Bootea, purely because I like how it tastes and I’m curious to see if doing it for another 2 weeks will make any difference. But don’t worry, I’ll do a follow up in another 2 weeks time if anything has changed after doing this for longer!(nothing changed! Surprise..surprise..)

My final thoughts on the Bootea 14 Day Teatox are that for me it didn’t really change anything physically. However, I have noticed that I feel more confident in my appearance due to drinking the teas and feeling like they could be helping me feel a tiny bit less bloated; but I think the reality is that it’s the placebo affect.

Nevertheless I would suggest giving this a go if you’re generally curious or wanting to try out some new teas. The only reason for saying give this a go if you’re curious is due to the fact that It’s surprisingly cheap considering the reputation they have with celebrities promoting it and stuff. I bought my pack whilst it was on offer for £12.45, so it didn’t feel like a waste of money giving this a go and not seeing results.

At the end of the day though, this experience has been a reminder of how we should all learn to love ourselves as we are, with no ideal body types, shapes, sizes or colours in mind; because we’re all beautiful no matter what. One thing I did notice was how Bootea did say on their website that they do not promote a certain body ideal, which I do appreciate. But I think that celebrities and influencers should take care in what they promote, because you never know how their messages can effect someone.

I hope this helps out any of you looking to try out Bootea! And remember, you’re perfect as you are and the only thing you need to do is realise that! Have a great weekend lovelies! Love,

My Acne Journey

Happy Saturday lovelies! So this week I’ve finally managed to sit down and write a post you’ve asked for a few times, my acne journey. Just putting this out there now, this is my journey with my skin and what has worked for me, this may work for you, this may not work for you; so please don’t assume all of the products I talk about in this post will or will not work for you. Also, I’m definitely not saying my skin is the worst ever or best, I’m just sharing my story.

Skin is such a personal thing because everyone’s skin is different and needs to be taken care of a certain way to suit that person. After all, skin care is very important since the skin is the largest organ in the body and protects us from so much. So why wouldn’t you want it looking it’s best!

Let’s get into this; so, my journey with my skin has been a long, stressful emotional journey and is by no means over yet. When I was younger I had little to no problems with my skin, being a carefree kid I never did anything to it and lucky for me, that was what worked. Then puberty hit, and again I was lucky enough to only suffer with a spot every now and again, nothing major.

I wish I had appreciated those day more now that I’m a bit older. Especially because as soon as I hit my 20s I developed adult acne, rosacea and my psoriasis began flaring up. Not great for someone who was already a little insecure because she wasn’t happy in her own skin anyway.

I’m now 22 and I’m happy to say that my skin (touch wood) is at a point where I’m reasonably happy with it, I still get the odd angry spot (or mountain/volcano/crater, you decide haha) ever so often but it’s ok.

For my skin to get where it is today, it took a lot of trial and error. To begin with a tried doing face masks about 3 times a week because I thought that maybe something was clogging up my pores and that they might make my skin less red and calm down a bit. For me, this didn’t work. That was when I bought the ‘La Roche-Posay Effaclar 3-Step Anti-Blemish Kit’ in the hopes that this would clear my skin up..long story short is that it made my skin a million times worse.

Which led to me deciding in February this year to finally decided to go to my doctors to get some medical help with my acne. So, here’s what my skin looked like before I did anything and after starting the ‘La Roche-Posay Effaclar 3-Step Anti-Blemish Kit’; also, please excuse my facial expressions in these photos as you can imagine how having acne makes you feel as also, I took these before bed over several weeks to document my skin journey! (It took around 6 months from starting my acne journey to where I am now)

Also, just thought I’d mention that it was at this point that I decided to drink pretty much only water from then on; that was hard at first but after about 2 weeks of making myself do it, I didn’t need to force myself to drink water anymore! It just became routine.

Here’s my skin before trying any treatment.

My skin after using ‘La Roche-Posay’ treatment for a week.

As you can imagine, after trying this acne skincare treatment for a week and my skin only getting worse and really irritated, I decided to stop it. Also, side note; I’m not saying that the ‘La Roche-Posay Effaclar 3-Step Anti-Blemish Kit‘ is a bad product, it just didn’t work for me, you never know, it might work for you!

So, After this I decided that I was finished blindly trying to clear my skin up without really any knowledge on what was causing it. So off to the doctors I went! To begin with, I was prescribed a different contraceptive pill called Cerelle, because at the time I was taking the progesterone only pill which has no oestrogen. I was also prescribed an antibiotic topical treatment called ‘Zineryt (erythromycin, zinc acetate)’. I took this for about 2 1/2 months and here’s what happened!

So, after using the ‘Zineryt‘ topical cream for 2 1/2 months my skin was looking a lot better! And I was feeling a little better about my skin and appearance, which was when it stopped working. Which was a huge bummer!!

So back I went to the doctors again in the hopes that they can give me something really powerful to stop my skin re-erupting!! Which is when I was prescribed ‘Co-Cyprindiol’, ‘Adapalene’ and ‘Doxycycline’. I was lucky that I was prescribed this amount of stuff to tackle my skin at once, I will say that I was a little apprehensive about having to use ‘Co-Cyprindiol’ as this had to replace the pill that I was on because it’s so much oestrogen!! 2000mg to be exact and the doctor told me that you usually have about 20mg..

Also, this pill isn’t classed as a contraceptive pill as you can’t take it for long periods of time so all I was thinking is what happens if it works and they stop me taking it and my skin reverts??! The other medication I was prescribed was the topical cream – ‘Adapalene’ to apply every night before bed, the other medication I was prescribed was ‘Doxycycline’ which is another antibiotic that I have to take every morning with breakfast!

If any of you suffer or have suffered with acne then you know how anxious switching up your skincare and medication can be. Which is why when I switched to these new medications and my skin started reacting badly, I freaked out and called the doctor asking to be taken off them.

Lucky for me, the doctor told me I had to give the medication longer to work and to give it 3 months to see any effect on my skin; because after about 3/4 months of taking all these meds my skin started to clear up!!

I’m so so so glad I stuck with the medication, because after taking everything for a few months, the doctors allows me to continue all of these meds for longer than typically recommended because I wasn’t having any side effects and my body was reacting well.

Now, I’m on a lower dose of ‘Co-Cyprindiol’ in order to continue the treatment safely alongside the other meds. An important note with this is that I do have to go for regular check ups with these pills in order to stay on them. But this is just so the doctors know how my body is coping with the hormone levels.

I also use a microdermabrasion skin care machine once a week to exfoliate and remove any blackheads. I got my machine from amazon for £20 when it was on offer and it’s rechargeable so I haven’t got to worry about paying out for batteries. Here’s the link to the machine I use!

And here is my skin now!

As you can see from my face here, I’m a lot happier with my skin now than ever before!

I’m so much happier with my skin now then ever before, it’s something that I had struggled with for a while and it really got me down to the point where I didn’t feel comfortable going outside at times! And if you’ve ever suffered with acne or currently do, you know what it can feel like and what it can do to your mental health.

I know that with my acne journey I have been pretty lucky in being able to find a treatment that works for me and that not all people are as lucky as I have been. Moral of the story is that if you are struggling with acne or any skin issue, go see your GP because they will be able to help you; and if something isn’t working for you, keep going back and eventually you’ll find something that works. It just takes some trial and error.

Hope this helps any of you suffering with acne or skin issues!! Have a great weekend lovelies! Love,

How I Lost 42lbs

You might be wondering why I’m writing this post? Well because I get asked this question pretty often when people find out I used to be very overweight and unhealthy. Before I get started I would like to point out that although I lost a lot of weight in a healthy manner, it’s important to be aware that whilst losing weight I was healthy and it was only after I had lost the weight that I realised that I’d developed an eating disorder. By following what I did to lose weigh should not cause you to develop an eating disorder; for me, I’ve always struggled with my weight and food so it was just one of those things that happened to me. I would also like to point out that I am not a professional and I am not a nutritionist, dietitian or in any medical profession; I am simply sharing my story. If you are planning to change your lifestyle then I suggest you visit your GP and discuss it with them first.

Also, I would like to say that being bigger is not a bad thing. And neither is being smaller. All that’s important is that you love your bodies because they’re all beautiful in different ways. They carry us through all walks of life and keep us alive. After all, you only get one body so it’s a good idea to love it!!

So, with all that out of the way, lets start at the beginning.

“Why did you want to lose weight?”

Well for me, I have struggled with my body image and size for a long time, when I was younger and carefree I loved it. But as I got older, not so much. I never truly liked how I looked, and I was very unhealthy.

Something people are probably wondering is – “Well, were you always fat?”.

Short answer – no. Well, I didn’t think I was, I have always been pretty short and my posture wasn’t great so I did look a bit plumper when I were younger. Here’s some old photos of me that I’ve dug out so you can have a look for yourself! If I’m completely honest, I think my weight gain started when I was getting to the end of secondary school. Being able to buy and make my own food didn’t help, especially since I’m a naturally fussy eater. I think my weight rapidly went up over the course of a few years from about 2012-2017, which funnily enough was round about when I got into my relationship with my boyfriend, Matt. (Here we are on my birthday).

“Did getting into my relationship cause me to gain weight?”

Well, yes and no. I think this one is something that happened partly from going out to dinner probably too often and we’re both fussy eaters (me more than him). But I do think that during our time together I started working so I had my own income which I would spend the majority of it on takeaways. Sometimes I’d have 2 takeaways in a day everyday for a week!!! So, although I’m in a relationship, I don’t think that’s really to blame as much as my own lifestyle choices at that time. Also I would like to put right here that Matt has been a true gem through it all, and even on my bad body image days he still tells me I’m beautiful, and that he thought I was when I were bigger too and just as much now that I’m smaller. (he’s a keeper I know).

“When did you decide you were going to lose weight?”

This one was something I’ve thought about for a while and to be honest, I constantly wanted to lose the weight over the course of about 5 years. But it wasn’t until I woke up one morning that something must’ve gone off in my head like a lightbulb that was just like ‘that’s it, from today I cannot be like this anymore. I will change and I will love myself again’. And if I’m being frank, I had sort of decided that if I couldn’t lose the weight and be healthier this time then I would just give up trying.

So, the all important how? How did I lose 42lbs and how long did it take?

Well for starters it took from the 8th July 2017 – January 2018. I know what you’re thinking if you’ve been in the same boat I was in, that’s not long at all! You must’ve starved yourself! How did you lose weight at Christmas?! Well you’d be surprised at how quickly the time actually went once the pounds started coming off. And something you’ll be happy to know if you’re not a big fan of exercise is that when I was actually losing weight, I did little to no exercise at all outside of walking(which was all done at work as I worked in a shop and did around 10,000 – 20,000 steps a day).

I lost the weight through using slimming worlds methods but with my own twists. And I will admit, when I went through the doors to sign up to slimming world I actually felt a bit of shame. Maybe that’s weird, maybe that’s normal for people going there for the first time, I don’t know. But I think the reason I felt shame was because I was basically admitting that I can’t do it on my own, that I’d failed. But in actual fact, even though I’d turned to help for losing weight, they didn’t make me lose the weight. I did that myself, with determination, will power, and A LOT of meal prep. And I mean A LOT.

Does trying to lose weight mean you can’t ever eat treats? No. I allocated myself a treat day every week (usually my weigh in day) where I would typically go to Cineworld for a huge ice cream sundae and/or have a Chinese takeaway. It’s weird, but Cineworld actually have the best ice cream flavours out there and certainly stopped my sugar cravings! Here’s me taking my little sister for ice cream and slushies!!

What could I eat? Where there any rules or restrictions?

I generally went by the rule that if I’ve made it from scratch, it’s usually okay to eat. Slimming world goes by these rules:

• Free food.

Free food is unlimited. Free foods are fruits and vegetables, meats cooked without oil or butter(or I cooked them with fry-light), dried rice, pasta, lentils, eggs, fat free yoghurts and other things like cooking with spices, and drinks with water like tea and coffee.

• Healthy Extras.

You tend to get a ‘Healthy A’ and a ‘Healthy B’. You are allowed one of each a day. Your ‘Healthy A’ is things with a high amount of calcium in, like milk, cheese (yes, you can have cheese still!!!). A ‘Healthy B’ choice is food that is high in fibre, so things like dried porridge oats, wholemeal breads and certain cereals. I would like to note, with these I had to measure them out. I’ll list a few typical meals I had in a week for you and a week menu for you to try out a little further below!

• Syns.

If you have been to slimming world before, or know someone who has or is going to slimming world, you’ll know about syns. Syns are things that are usually processed in some form. These are things like chocolate (obviously duh!), crisps, ready meals, butters, sauces, pre-made pasta sauces and basically anything you haven’t cooked yourself in my eyes. It might seem doom and gloom at this point but it really isn’t that bad, with syns you’re allowed 5-15syns per day, and this is because if you deprive yourself too much you’ll just binge. And no one wants that. I know what you’re thinking, but we don’t know how many syns are in everything?! My answer to that is to google it because someone somewhere will have put it online, also I go by the rule that if its something small and in moderation, it won’t be too bad. And anything that is ‘low fat’ will generally not do too much harm. My personal favourite treats were ‘Metcalfes skinny sweet & salty popcorn’ (half of a big bag is around 7.5 syns from memory) and any of the ‘Halo Top’ or ‘Breyers’ ice creams. The ‘Halo Top cinnamon bun’ ice cream is literally liquid heaven (and it’s only 360 calories for the ENTIRE tub). Virtually guilt free!!

So what sort of things did I eat in a week?

Let’s give you a run down of breakfasts:

• Strawberries with Tesco healthy living fat free fromage frias (with some low calorie non aspartame sweetener in) with 1/3 cup of porridge oats, I would usually add cinnamon in the oats and on the strawberries which made breakfast taste like a dessert. (I would pour it all in a bowl or make these insta worthy pots shown below!)
• Simple marmite on toast with 4 teaspoons (they’re smaller than you think when you use measuring spoons! haha) of Tesco’s butter me up low fat spread on two small wholemeal slice of bread. For the small loaves of bread I’d recommend the Tesco ones (they seem like bigger or thicker slices?)
• Quaker oats big bowl of porridge original with semi-skimmed milk.
• Sweet French toast with strawberries and 2 teaspoons of sugar. (let me know if you want a recipe post!)
• 2 Weetabix with semi skimmed milk and 2 teaspoons of sugar.
• 2 Weetabix with fat free yoghurt on top and sliced fruit. (it is a bit like how you’d prepare a crisp bread? Warning- it gets messy when you eat it but tastes really good!)
• 2 Scrambled eggs on 2 slices of small wholemeal toast.

Lunch and dinners can be difficult for some people to eat healthy as you’re not always at home to make it, so I’ll write down a list of at home and work lunches for you! I will suggest now that meal prep will likely be needed so get yourself some value tubs for storage!!)

Let’s move on to typical lunches and dinners:

• Plain rice or egg fried rice with stir fried bean sprouts, broccoli, baby corn and pak choi in soy sauce. (you can make prep the veggies in the morning or night before and use microwavable rice for in the office).
• Homemade chips (fry-light cooked) with a chicken breast (add spices here so it’s less boring) and veggies or salad.
• Jacket potato with tuna, cheese, butter and salad. (jacket potatoes are great if you’re eating out!)
• Pasta with tuna (or you can use homemade pasta sauce) and veggies.
• Roast dinner. Which is my absolute favourite! I’m a northern girl so gravy, yorkshire puddings, roasties (fry-light obvs), meat and veggies is absolute heaven!
• Cod or fish cooked with mash or chips and peas. (if you go out for dinner you can have fish and chips and by not eating the batter, it makes it free, and then you’re only having syns for your chips!)
• Roasted new potatoes with steak and veggies.
• Wholemeal sandwich with low fat spread, wafer thin turkey and lettuce.
• Roasted new potatoes with chicken and salad.

That’s just a handful of meals that I would eat in a week. If you’d like to try a meal plan you can download it here! For snacking, I would have loads of fruit, fat free yoghurts, cereal bars (generally the healthy living or brands own healthy ones as the big branded ones are usually worse than a bar of chocolate!) and things like cooked meats and small bags of popcorn.

It’s important to note that things will not happen overnight. I’ve learnt this the hard way. I would recommend weighing yourself ONCE and only ONCE a week, at the same time. Weighing yourself everyday will not do you any good mentally trust me, I know!). You might be thinking, but how much weight did I lose in the first week? For me it was 4.5lbs, and there on out it was around 1-3lbs per week pretty steadily. Here’s some photos I took along the way. (It took a lot to post these but I hope they help some of you out for visualising transformations!)

I’d definitely recommend taking photos, when I had a bad day it’s easy to forget how far you’ve come, so looking back it’s a great feeling. Also, find the worst photo of yourself for your before. It sound’s silly I know, but for me, it just gave me more motivation and was a great reminder. I thought it was important to add in a bikini photo because I never wore bikinis before, and taking that photo was a big thing for me to do. So here’s my before and afters:

Losing weight is a hard thing to do. So never tell yourself that you’re a failure if you slip up at any point. I slipped up several times and a still do now! But you can easily get back on track, just start as soon as you realise you’ve gone off track rather than saying ‘Oh, I’ll start again on Monday’.

Finally for me, this wasn’t a diet. Diets restrict everything whereas this didn’t take anything away I just had to eat smarter. And I would definitely recommend you keep checking up on your own mental health and attitudes towards food if you’re going through a transformation, it’s easy to get lost in it all like I have!! (See my ‘What happens when you realise you’ve developed an Eating disorder’ post). I would also like to point out that what you eat should not make you feel guilty, and by doing this method of eating shouldn’t. I know that that sounds a bit like a contradiction because I suffer with an eating disorder now, but that is due to myself having problems with food throughout most of my life. And whilst eating like this I’ve actually nourished my body the best it has ever been in my entire life.

I’ll leave you with this. If you’re trying to lose weight, make sure that it’s for the right reasons. For yourself, to be healthy. NOT because you feel like you need to in order to fit in. Because you’re beautiful no matter what a number says on the scale, and that number is unique to you. Everyone is built differently. And we’re all perfectly imperfect!

If you’re going to try any of this then please let me know!! And if you do try any of my meals then let me know what happened and how you found it!! And remember; everyone transforms at their own pace, so don’t compare yourself to others and their transformations. For me, it took around 6 months give or take a few; but for someone else it may take a year or two. Your own journey is valid and you should be proud of any victories, big or small.

I hope you have a great bank holiday weekend my lovelies! I’m off walking in Wales with the bf and can’t wait, fingers crossed it’s sunny!

Love,