Reflections and Resolutions.

Hello my lovelies! It’s the first post I’m writing for the year! I’ve left it a bit late compared to everyone else in writing about my 2020 and what I’m hoping for in 2021, but that’s because a ridiculous about of stuff (some good, some extremely shit) happened last year for me and I just haven’t had the mental space or time to sit down and download my thoughts.

A rundown of my 2020 goes a bit like this:

• January: Start of 2020 – Turned 24yrs old, went for an mri scan for my back, started dry January, officially came out to everyone as Pan.
• February: Went to Harry Potter Studio Tours, left an 8 year relationship, decided to turn my Dry January into Dry 2020 (what a decision to make in 2020).
• March: Fresh start, moved to a tiny room, started to feel like myself again, lockdown number 1 started, working from home began.
• April: A bit of a blur to be honest, I remember holding an at home escape room for my family, also sent an ipad to my grandparents in .
• May: Family quiz nights weekly, a socially distanced bbq with our bubble for my niece’s 2nd birthday my my sisters birthday.
• June: Went for another mri scan for my back, started online dating, started my witchcraft journey.
• July: Went for a few online dates – nothing came of it (but I did get my first online date and my first date in over 8 years out of the way), found out my Granny has terminal liver failure.
• August: First holiday abroad in about 4 years cancelled due to covid, bit of a shit month to be honest, but I got meds for my acne.
• September: Fully embraced the single life and learning to love myself for who I am, started exploring new fashion choices/styles.
• October: Halloween themed birthday party for my 4 year old nephew (in our bubble), started following people online that promote real bodies and body positivity/neutrality, savings took a big hit from car insurance and mot/service – essentially had to rebuild my car.
• November: Started Christmas shopping online, lockdown 2 I think? (I never fully left the first one) lockdown).
• December: Christmas, took a break from work, blogging and freelancing over the festive period, started loving and accepting my body for how it is now.

So that was my 2020. It had some real highs and some really low lows; the best things about 2020 for me were coming out, spending time with my family, finding myself again and having a bit of a reset. The real low lows were finding out my Granny is terminally ill, not being able to see family members, and general worries about everyone’s health.

All in all 2020 was a year of self discovery, reflection, love, loss, stress and rest. Oh, and I completed dry 2020 even with all the shit it threw at me!

Now that 2021 has begun, and with everything that happened last year, I’ve made the decision to only have 3 resolutions for the year and if anything else happens then I’m happy.

My three resolutions for the year are:

• Accepting my body as it is.
• To accept myself for who I am completely, not changing who I am/how I behave so I fit with what I think everyone wants me to be to them.
• Make the most of each situation.

And that’s about it! I’ve done my tarot reading for the year and I’m excited to see what this year will bring; I may do another post on that in the future but for now I’m going to keep it to me. One tarot card that I have on my altar at the moment is the card of the Fool. The Fool is the first card of the tarot and represents beginnings, journeys, joy, creativity and possibility; so I felt like it was a good card to start my year with.

I typically do a tarot reading once a month-ish and then whenever I feel drawn to my cards. (If you want some posts on tarot cards and readings let me know!) One project I’m also doing this year is designing my own tarot cards!

That’s about it for today my loves! I’m now off to go and read a book I haven’t been able to stop reading! Stay tuned for some fashion posts coming soon, and let me know if you have any post requests!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Love,

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My Favourite Outfits.

Hello my lovelies! I hope you’ve been finding some time to relax and look after yourselves this week. This week I’m starting off today’s post a bit differently to how I normally would; and that’s because there are some important things that need to be said before we continue with my usual positive post for the week.

As we all know, protests are going on across the globe as police brutality and racism against the black community has not stopped and we as human beings need to actively be anti-racist. Too many lives have been taken and continue to be taken because of the colour of someone’s skin. Enough is enough. We cannot stand here and accept this. We will not.

Say their names. #BlackLivesMatter

To all of the black community:

I am not black, but I see you.

I am not black, but I hear you.

I am not black, but I mourn with you.

I am not black, but I will fight for you.

#BlackLivesMatter

I have white privilege, and that means that I cannot begin to understand the fear and pain the black community must go through every single day. Having white privilege also means that I can use my platform and privilege to help stop these injustices that are happening everyday.

If you can please go to blacklivesmatter.com and find out about your local peaceful protests and how you can do your part by donating to BlackLivesMatter, to bail funds, to Stand Up Against Racism, sign as many petitions as you can and educate yourself on your privilege and ensure that we are all more than just not being racist. We must be anti-racist.

Together we will have justice. If you’re going to protests please stay safe, here are some resources you can use to stay safe and support what is right. And to anyone who will say ‘All lives matter’ to this, yes, you’re right, all lives matter, and THAT is why black lives matter. You don’t truly believe that all lives matter until you are standing up for black lives, saying all lives matter right now is taking away from the voices who need to be heard, the black lives that need our help. And if you still don’t understand, watch this video which explains it perfectly:

I’m doing my part to stop the brutality that black people go through on a daily basis and I hope you will too.

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Naturally because of everything that is going on at the moment we need to find time to look after ourselves. We must continue to fight and in order to do so, please look after yourselves, even if that’s just by making sure you’re carrying milk and water with you to protests and wearing your masks.

These times are hard and it can be hard to find a smile with everything going on (understandably and rightly so). So something I’ve been doing is wearing outfits that make me smile. And so, to hopefully give you at least five minutes of positivity today I’m going to be sharing them with you!

First up we’ve got some cute mom jean shorts with a black tee! I paired these with these amazing alien earrings and tiny black sunglasses which are just a complete vibe and I love them!

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Next up we have this adorable check smock dress that I picked up from Tesco and it is just so comfy and I love that kind of grungy look you get when you pair a cute dress with black boots. Plus, since this is a smock dress, it’s super flown and perfect for those hotter days!

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We’ve then got this button down cardigan paired with mom jeans I picked up from Tesco (F&F jeans are the best jeans and no one can convince me otherwise!) and some zebra print slip ons with rainbow heart hoops! I wasn’t sure how I wanted to wear this cardi at first but it’s so versatile that it goes with nearly everything! I chose to wear this cardigan by itself without a bra or top underneath because for one, it’s hot at the moment, and two – because why not!

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Here’s that cute cardigan again, but this time I’ve put it with these incredible trousers I got from ASOS!

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These trousers are so comfy because they’re high waisted, have little buckles on each side and on the ankles so you can adjust them and they are just plain (or rather not plain haha) adorable! And I think putting these with a simple black turtle neck (also ASOS) is such a cute look. I decided to accessories with black books for a grunge look and had to put my super cute iced coffee earrings with it to tie it all together! It’s one of my favourite looks of all, I just wish it was a little colder so I can wear it without overheating!

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Next up is my cute all pink outfit. The variety in my style always makes me laugh, one second I can be seen in a super smart look, the next a grungy one, then super intimidating and then super soft. It all depends on my mood for the day. And this outfit is what I like to gravitate towards on those days where I want to wear pink and be all stereotypically cutesy! So, here I’ve got these baby pink cargo joggers with a checked pink crop top; and sometimes I like to add a white tee that I’ve cropped myself and add a white beanie to top it all off.

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Here’s a smart, feminine and classy look that I love so much. Especially when I add the slim black sunglasses. Black mom jeans are comfy, look smart and are warm for those breezy days. I picked up the cardigan from ASOS (like a lot of these haha not sponsored, but it could be – ASOS.. I doubt you’re reading this but if you are, feel free to hit me up!) which has a nice 90’s vibe because of the black tiny ruffle trim which is cute by itself or open with a cute crop top and then I decided on these black flats that I’ve had for way over 5 years but have hardly ever worn, and I don’t know why I haven’t because they’re so unique and class up any outfit!

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Last but certainly not least, we have one of my all time favourite looks. It’s certainly not cold enough for this outfit but I love it so much I had to include it. Here we’ve got an oversized grey SuperDry jumper with a black skort and black tights and boots. Oh, and of course I had to have the statement black sunnies make an appearance too. This look makes me feel so cute and I cant help but have happy vibes when I wear it. Plus, can we just appreciate how absolutely adorable this skort is!

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And those are my favourite outfits! My style really does depend on how I’m feeling and what I want my mood for the day to be. If I’m feeling artsy and it’s chilly I’ll probably go for something like the tartan trousers, and if I’m feeling like I want to be effortless then I might go for the black mom jeans – cream cardi combo and if I’m feeling like I want to be cutesy then I might wear any of my dungarees or my pink cargo joggers.

Basically I wear what I want, when I want. And the motto I stand by when it comes to getting dressed and style is that you should wear what makes you happy, feel beautiful, confident and like you.

Love who you are and embrace yourself. Anything you wear will look good if you feel good.

Well, that’s it from me for today! What are your favourite outfits? How would you describe your style? Mines definitely eclectic! Let me know yours in the comments or tag me in your looks on insta @theweightofmyworlds!

Stay safe out there and love yourself.

Love,

Having Confidence To Be Yourself.

Hello my lovelies! I hope you had a good week! This week has been super busy as usual, but I did manage to have a little time to see my sister, niece and nephew! And with seeing them, my sister brought me some funky new earrings that I absolutely adore. Which leads me to today’s post, having confidence to be yourself, no matter what others think.

So, this week I decided to talk to you about confidence. Specifically in having confidence in being yourself regardless of other people’s opinions.

For me, I can remember being tiny and having absolutely zero self-esteem issues and having complete confidence in myself and giving no fucks. And I can also remember when I began giving all of the fucks to what people thought about me and my appearance.

Sadly that day came in primary school when all of the year 6 girls (myself included) got to wear their Brownie uniforms to school. I had no care in the world about how I looked, I was just happy I got to wear something other than my usual uniform; and then came a comment from one of the kids in my class, it was something along the lines of: “why are you wearing those pants? You look stupid”.

And poof. Insecurities as far as the eyes could see.

Several years of bullying throughout school later, all I wanted was to fit in. And then a few years working in two different jobs types, and spending some time working on myself away from negative people.

As time went on, my confidence has grown quite a lot, and I think that is partly due to ‘The Weight Of My Worlds’! I say partly but I think that’s actually a huge factor for me.

Something just clicked in me one day and I decided that from then on I was going to be completely apologetically myself. Regardless of what other people think, because someone who’s worth spending your time with will only lift you up and not put you down.

My tips for building confidence in yourself are:

1. Looking at yourself in the mirror, as you are, without makeup, without fancy clothes, just as you are. Get used to you and your appearance.
2. Don’t be afraid to be weird when you’re by yourself, be as weird as you want to be by yourself so much so that when you’re with your loved ones you start being yourself more because you’re more comfortable with yourself.
3. Fake it til you make it! I love this phrase because it’s something that I’ve done for a long time and it definitely helped me in my early days trying to build my confidence. It’s also a good one for anxiety!
4. Wear whatever you want to. Wanna wear a skirt? Wear a skirt. Wanna wear a suit? Wear a suit. Wanna wear crazy patterns. Wear em. Wear what makes you happy!
5. Do a complete detox. Anything that doesn’t make you feel good, get rid! Social media was a big one for me, so I unfollowed all of the accounts that made me feel bad about myself and followed loads of positive ones that made me feel good.

So, what’re some things that I do now that I wouldn’t before?

Well, for a start, I now don’t care about what people think of my appearance or personality anymore; because I am me and guess what? I’m pretty great as I am.

How else do I know I’m more confident than before? Well, I would never pose or do photoshoots where other people could see me, and now I am not afraid to strike a pose in public!

Another thing that’s changed is that I’m not afraid to wear whatever wacky, weird and quirky things I want. At the moment I’m really into crazy shoes and jewellery! My sister gave me these awesome gumball machine earrings that I can’t get enough of!

So, that’s a bit about how my confidence has gone through ups and downs and ups again and how I have improved my confidence! Have you got any tips and tricks that make you feel more confident? Let me know in the comments!

And remember, you are perfect just as you are. Be apologetically yourself because you’re incredible! Be bright, be bold, be you!

Have a great weekend my lovelies!

Love,

My 5 Favourite Storytime Posts.

Happy Saturday everyone! This week I’ve been busy journaling, catching up with friends and family and I’ve been practicing some selfcare. And speaking of journaling and selfcare; this week I’m going to share with you my top 5 favourite storytime posts I’ve written.

So, onto my top 5 posts! Let’s get into it!

1 . I Found Out My Ancestry With 23 and Me.

I loved writing this post. For ages I wanted to find out my ancestry and I still go back to look at my 23 and me profile regularly to see that I’ve got more and more DNA relatives!

2 . I Hate My Belly, So I Got My Belly Button Pierced.

This post will always hold a special place in my heart. For as long as I can remember I’ve hated my stomach, and that all changed when I wrote this post. I think it’s the furthest I’ve ever pushed myself out of my comfort zone as an experiment and I have stopped hating on my stomach every since. I mean, I still have other parts of my body I like more, but I’m a long way away from hate.

3 . Why I’m Refusing To Make New Years Resolutions About My Body.

I got a lot of responses from this post. And I think it’s because I’m not sure I’ve ever seen any posts like this about new years resolutions. And I’m happy to say that this one will always be a favourite of mine because I think it raised an important point for lots of people who weren’t a fan of themselves, and why they should learn to love themselves and spent their time on better things than self-hatred.

4 . Learning To Play An Instrument.

I am still so so happy that I wrote this post, and it partly came with my new years resolutions and it’s been a dream of mine since I was a little girl to play the piano. And guess what?! I’ve kept up my learning since this post and I’m not about to stop now! I can’t believe how far my learning has come and I can now play a few beautiful songs from memory and read sheet music!

5 . Being An Apprentice.

This post was one I had wanted to write for a really long time, and it’s a post all about my job, why I decided to become an apprentice in my 20s and why it’s important to celebrate your successes, no matter how big or small they are!

So those are my top 5 favourite storytime posts from this year! It’s amazing to me that we’re already 3/4’s of the year through and that I’ve had my blog for over a year and a half!

Have you got a favourite post of mine? I like writing these posts every few weeks as it’s a great way to reflect over what’s been happening and what my favourite topics are to write about!

And that’s all for today! I hope you enjoyed today’s post, it’s always great fun writing about my life, interests, hobbies and being creative in general; coming up with new ideas and posts for you is something I always try to do, and if you’ve got any ideas for posts you want to see from me, let me know in the comments below!

Have a great weekend everybody! Love,

Taking Some Me Time.

Happy Saturday my lovelies! This week we’re talking me-time. Self-care. Down-Time. Whatever you like to call it, I’m letting you into how I like to make time for myself.

We all have stressful days here and there, and we all deal with them in different ways, so this week I’m hoping to either give you some ideas on how you can make time for yourself. Or this’ll just be a healthy reminder of some of the small things you’re already doing without realising it’s something you do to make yourself feel good as self-care.

Self-care is often perceived as a bubble bath and a face mask in my eyes, and don’t get me wrong, those’re definitely I like to do to relax too, but there’s loads of other small things I do for some me-time.

So, enough blabbering from me, here’s what I like to do!

Get an early nights sleep.

Who doesn’t like staying in bed? If we love having lay-ins so much why not go to bed earlier and have longer in bed? I struggle to actually stay in bed once I’ve woken up – which is usually around 7 without my alarm so going to bed earlier let’s me have at least an extra hour in bed without feeling like I’ve wasted the next day.

Spending time on my hair.

Ever since I decided I wasn’t going to straighten my natural curls and waves anymore, I started taking care of my hair in a way that I have never done before. Before I’d brush it like mad, hate the frizz and straighten it everyday all whilst using sulfates and silicones on my hair damaging it. Whereas now I do bi-weekly protein and moisture hair masks, use more natural hair products and I avoid using heat at all costs. It takes more time than before, but I like to listen to my favourite music and spend that time in the moment, relaxing.

Organising my things.

I love a tidy room. And I’ve learnt overtime that when I begin to see mess piling up in my room it’s a sign that mental health is taking a dip. So I then take time to get everything organised and make sure that I do spend some more time doing things that make me feel good(in other words, what’s on this list!).

Taking a bubble bath.

It’s a classic I know, but I won’t deny that I enjoy a big bubble bath with candles, Netflix on my laptop and a nice cold drink. There’s not much else to say about that one!

Listening to my body.

This is new to me. Something you may or may not know about me is that I struggle with back problems (I’ll do a post about it all at some point!), and for me that means that I’m near enough in some form of constant pain. Sucks I know, but life goes on! Because I’m often in pain, over time I stopped listening to what my body needs and then suffering because of it. So recently I’m trying to actually listen to how my body is feeling and if I’m struggling then I give myself permission to simply stay home in my bed with snacks.

Doing my physio exercises.

Leading on from my last one, when I’m in pain that can be an indicator that I should try doing some more of my physio exercises to try and ease my pain. Plus, this helps me in the long run, and it’s time well spent since it then make the next day a bit easier on my body!

Reading a good book.

Who doesn’t like to curl up somewhere cosy with a good book? I’m currently reading ‘Happy Fat’ by Sofie Hagen and I’m loving it. It’s all about loving yourself, how society continues to spread fat phobic messages (whether we’re aware of it or not) and why you should stop hating your body.

Making myself a cup of tea.

If you’ve been here since the start of  ‘The Weight Of My Worlds’ then you’ll know that I’m a bit of a tea addict.. which is why I’ve recently switch to exclusively decaf tea! And I try to stay mindful when I’m making my tea and of course I just love a good cuppa. Bonus points if it’s in a super cute mug like this!

Watching old TV series’ that I love.

Although disputed, I love old TV series that are no longer in circulation or that came out years ago, in particular crime/CSI style shows like Bones, Castle, NCIS, CSI and so many more. That doesn’t make me weird does it? Well.. I don’t care anyway haha it’s great television.

Spending time on my hobbies.

I have a long long list of hobbies, most of them creative. So I like to spend time drawing, painting, sculpting, up-cycling, sewing, playing the piano and interior design. I can’t count how many times I’ve redone my room in some way, in fact, I’m actually re-painting mine as we speak!

Styling clothes.

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You look good when you feel good, right? I certainly do. Plus I was known for changing my outfit multiple times a day when I was younger, but what can I say, I like to change things up! I wear different styles depending on my mood and creating and styling clothes based on that is always fun.

And that’s it from me! Those are some of the things that I like to do when I’m needing some me-time. There’s more, but I think we’d be here for quite some time! It’s important to make some time for yourself, because you matter and self-care is NOT selfish.

What do you like to do when you need time for yourself? Did you get some new ideas from here? Or did you not realise you might already be practising some self-care without realising it? Let me know in the comments!

Might I suggest spending some time this bank holiday for yourself? Have a good one my lovelies!

Love,

Birthday Reflections.

Thursday was my birthday!! Which means I ate cake, got pampered and did a bit of reflecting on what I want for the next year of my life. I guess it’s a little like new years resolutions but without the guilt if you break them. Reflecting on what I want for myself in the next months is something I’ve never really done before, but the time just feels right.

So, lets get into it!

1 . I am learning (and loving) how to be unapologetically myself.

2 . I want to wear whatever I want, no matter how wacky, weird or boring without fear of being judged, because my opinion is the only one that matters when it comes to my appearance!

How cute was my birthday outfit?! I love that jumper and accessories so much!

3 . Not feeling guilty for any food I eat or workouts that I don’t do.

4 . Be proud of myself for my little achievements.

5 . I want to schedule away at least one day a month for a selfcare day.

6 . Continue to push myself out of my comfort zone and try more new things.

7 . I want to read more books, I love reading but struggle to find stories I get sucked into, so I am on a mission to find some new books!

8 . Learning to love my hair when it’s natural and style it without heat.

9 . Continue blogging as it has brought me so much joy, and I love being creative!

10 . Giving people compliments when I like something about them, whether it’s a piece of clothing, their personality, attitude and/or anything really. It’s always nice bringing a smile to someone’s face, and you never know how much of a difference it can make to someone’s day.

Well, that’s what I’m going to be doing for this upcoming year, and I can’t wait to see what it’s going to throw at me! And I cant wait to see where I’m at in another years time.

So here’s to being another year older, wiser, happier and more comfortable in my own skin. Have a great weekend everyone!!

Love,