25 Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 30.

Happy Saturday my lovelies! This past weekend I turned 25 and got to join the quarantine birthday gang. Since I couldn’t (and still can’t) go out or do anything for my birthday I decided to chill out with a slice of cake, low-alcohol wine and an episode of the Great Pottery Throwdown; which honestly is probably how I would’ve ended my birthday anyway being an introvert and little old lady at heart.

One of my Christmas presents was a gratitude journal so I’ve also been reflecting on what I’m grateful for, what lessons I’ve learnt over the last 25 years and I’ve also decided to make a list of things I want to do before I turn 30.

Things I’m grateful for are:

• My body for getting me where I am today – even though I live with chronic pain, I’m grateful for what my body allows me to do.
• My imagination and creativity.
• My family and friends.
• My job – it’s honestly the best job I’ve ever had and that’s not only because I love me work family but I also love making an impact in the mental health and addiction sector.
• My newfound ability to not care what others think of how I look.
• Finding witchcraft.
• Music – it helps me find motivation, brings me joy and always helps me unwind.
• For finding myself again over the last year.

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So, onto the 25 things I want to do before I turn 30 (in no particular order):

Birthday Selfie! (Still baby-faced as ever)

Go to pride in London – I wanted to go last year but obviously due to covid we couldn’t, so hopefully by 2022 we can have an in person pride!

Buy my own home – at the moment I’m living at home with my family and saving up for a deposit so I can get a mortgage in a year or two.

Have a full diagnosis of my chronic back pain – if you didn’t know already, I’m a spoonie and have been going back and forth for over 4 years trying to find out what causing my back pain (you can read more about it here!).

Travel somewhere by myself – you always hear about these transformational travels people go on and I want to experience that!

Get a new car – mine happens to be slowly deteriorating on my driveway at the moment..but I’m also not going anywhere so it’s pointless replacing it until we can go out again.

Learn another language well enough to be able to actually have some form of simple conversation with others – I’m currently learning Spanish with the trusty ‘ole Duolingo.

Go to one of the sleepovers at the Natural History museum!

Get two more tattoos – a big one of peonies and another of a robin.

Learn how to code – I’m already learning this and know a decent amount, but it’s always good to keep learning and I want to be able to remember all of the different codes without needing to triple check them.

Take a fitness/dance class without feeling self-conscious – when I say that I look like a robot who has two left feet I’m not exaggerating.

Try throwing pottery – I’ve just never had the opportunity to do and love sculpting with clay in general.

Take a full life drawing course – I’ve dipped in and out of life drawing lessons over the years and I always absolutely loved them so I want to make them a regular thing when we can all meet up again.

Join or form a book club – I just need to read more to be honest and when I find a book I love I read it in about 4 days and then can’t find a book I like for ages.

Learn how to animate – I’ve made a start on this already by learning how to do basic animations in procreate but I want to get better at it!

Fully understand how taxes and all the other finance stuff works that we should’ve been taught in school.

Have a decent amount of money saved for emergencies.

Design and sew an entire outfit – I love the Great British Sewing Bee and I have an A-Level in textiles but I never give myself the proper amount of time to actually finishing sewing projects.

Sell some of my art – I’ve made art all my life and been too scared to actually sell it even when people say it’s great, so I think it’s about time I actually believe it when people say they would buy my work.

Have a solid morning and night routine.

Make more friends – I have less than 3 friends outside of my work family so I really need to learn how to make friends as an adult. If anyone knows how to do this please tell me hahaha.

Get better at swimming – I am an extremely weak swimmer.

Try more food – I’ve been a fussy eater all my life and I’m slowly getting better. Progress is still progress no matter how small.

Grow my hair as long as I can stand it now that it’s healthy – and then maybe I’ll shave it again and donate it for charity? Who knows?!

Do something that scares me.

Learn to stand up for myself when a boundary is crossed.

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And those are my 25 things I want to do over the next 5 years. One of the biggest things on that list is getting my own place, and I can’t wait for the time when that happens, not only because it’ll be my own place, but also because I love interior design and can’t wait to decorate and make the place my own. Another thing I can’t wait to do is go to pride because it’s just such an uplifting time filled with celebration, community and love and to be there in person will be amazing.

You may have noticed that there are two things I’ve missed from my list that people my age are quite likely to include which is getting married and having kids. Well, I’m currently single, and believe it or not over the last year I’ve realised that I don’t actually mind being by myself; that doesn’t mean there aren’t days when I feel lonely, it just means that I’m fine with being by myself if that’s what happens in the end. And on the kids front, I’ve always imagined myself having kids one day, in fact when I was younger I thought I’d have kids by the time I’m 25, but as time has gone one I’ve realised that I’ll just have kids when I’m ready instead of putting a proper timescale on it. And if I do end up not having the ability to have children by myself for whatever reason (whether it’s because I’m by myself or if I’m in a relationship and it’s not possible) then I’ll either adopt, get a donor or foster.

It’s funny to me how much I’ve changed over the last year. I used to think that I needed to have so many big life events happen before 25 or before 28 and I would put stupid time frames on events you haven’t always got control of; and that was because I kept seeing people on social media my age having kids, getting married and buying their own places already. But what I completely forgot is that photo of house keys or engagement ring isn’t the entire story, and the majority of people feel like they’re behind. I’ve also realised that I’ve actually done a hell of a lot in the time I’ve been on earth, and I’m pretty proud of what I’ve achieved so far!

So here’s to year 25 and whatever it shall bring!

Have a great weekend my loves!

Love,

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Before i Turn 30.

Sketchbook Tour.

Happy Saturday my lovelies! How’s your week been? It feel like ages ago since my last post but it’s only been two weeks! Last weekend I decided to take some time out for myself to just relax, as it was a pretty stressful few weeks for me, so taking some me time was needed. But good news, as you can see, I’m back!

In my weekend off, I spent some time relaxing by doing some of my many hobbies; in particular – working on a new art project! Part of the reason why I decided to work on my new project was because I was talking to my amazing work colleagues and it was said that I should do a sketchbook tour! And you know what, I thought that it’s a great idea!!

For those of you that don’t know about my past, I have always loved art. Whether it’s drawing, sculpting, painting, photography or printing, I absolutely love it! At school I did a gcse in art and design and then another in fine art, and then in sixth form I did a-level art and design alongside textiles and IT and then I finally went on to do a pre-degree in art and design! After all of that I then worked in a small art gallery for several years!

I’ve also taken part in several life drawing lessons, which I will tell you now, it is not as weird as you might think! You may think that drawing a naked person in front of you is very intimidating and possibly even funny (which on my first lesson I will admit I did giggle a bit), but you quickly get used to it and it soon becomes a very relaxing experience.

So, because I’ve spent so much of my life studying art, I have quite a lot of sketchbooks. And so, today I’m going to be giving you a sketchbook tour and showing you some of my favourite pages from my many sketchbooks!

Let’s get into it!

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I created the following sketchbooks during my gcse’s:

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These ones were from my A-Levels:

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And here’s my work from my pre-degree!

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I’ve got a huge folder full of drawings from way way back in the early 2010’s and then I have life drawings too, so here’s some of my favourites from them!

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And, after all of those, here’s my life drawings! Please be aware that life drawing does mean you’re about to see naked bodies!! So if you’re not into that then please scroll through.

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And finally, here’s a page in my most recent sketchbook!

Well, that’s all of my sketchbooks and individual pieces I have to show you today! Have you got a favourite piece?

Looking back on my artwork and how it’s evolved, changed and improved over time was something I didn’t realise would be so much fun! And it’s given me some well needed motivation and passion boost to keep on drawing more and more. Thinking about all of my artwork reminds me of how much time I have spent practicing drawing, and how much of my spare time I would spend on my hobby. I think part of the reason why I spent and continue to spend so much time on creative outlets is because I used to live in the middle of nowhere, so going out to play with friends wasn’t really an option, so that is part of the reason and the other reason is that it’s super relaxing to sit with music playing and a pencil in hand!

And with all of that said, that’s all from me for today! I’m off to go do a bit of work and then start on a new piece! Wish me luck!

Have a great weekend my lovelies!

Love,

It’s My 2 Year Blogiversary!

Hello my lovelies! I hope you’re staying safe and well at home and keeping busy, not looking at the awful news too much! The good news is that I am hoping to take your mind off of what’s going on outside with today’s blog post. And incase you didn’t guess it from the title of today’s post, ‘The Weight Of My Worlds’ has just turned 2 years old.

I can’t believe it! And since my blog has turned 2, I thought I’d reflect on what has happened over the last year on the blog and in my life!

111 blog posts, loads of fun photoshoots and tries so far and I can’t wait for so many more!

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So, I thought I’d keep last years theme going by having a look at my favourite blog posts I’ve written over the last year. And with that, let’s get right into it!

First up we have January’19 :

• Body Positive Instagram Accounts You Need To Follow – I couldn’t decide which blog post was my favourite for this month, because to this day I still follow and love so many body positive and body neutral instagrams, because seeing people of all backgrounds and appearances loving themselves is such a huge mood booster!

• Finding My Style – I couldn’t talk about January 2019 without mentioning my ‘finding my style’ post. I love expressing myself through my style, and I love seeing how my style has changed over time!

February’19 :

• A Year Of Blogging – That’s an easy one. It’s amazing how fast time has gone and I loved writing that post just as much as I love writing this one now!

March’19 :

• The Sun: Living With Our Star – London Science Museum Trip! I loved creating this post, going to London and visiting the museum was such an incredible weekend that I will never forget, and I can’t thank the Science Museum enough for having me, I’ve been back since and it’s always a great day out for everyone!
• Styling a T-Shirt 7 Ways – This was my first ever video, and it was so much fun to film! I haven’t done any style videos since, but that is definitely something I’d like to do in the next year!

April’19 :

• I Hate My Belly, So I Got My Belly-Button Pierced – It would be silly to not include this post; it was a scary experiment to do, but it was so worth it!

May’19 :

• I Tried Lush’s Henna Hair Dye – As someone who loves to switch up her hair, whether that be with colour or a haircut, trying henna was certainly on my list of things to try, especially since it doesn’t damage your hair, and it worked amazingly!

June’19 :

• Why You Shouldn’t Care If Your Clothes Are Made For Men Or Women – i love androgynous style, I’ve never really cared whether or not my clothes were sewn for a particular gender, and I will forever go by the notion: ‘if I like a piece of clothing, I’ll wear it, regardless of what part of a shop it’s in’.

July’19 :

• My Trip To Edinburgh – Everyone loves a holiday! And I had such a lovely time in Scotland, even if it tipped it down for most of the time; there’s so much to do, and has loads of great shops and cafes!

August’19 :

• Harry Potter Inspired Outfits – I love putting together outfits, and as you know, I love Harry Potter, and I love looking up cute outfits inspired by my favourite shows, films and books!

September’19 :

• My Fitness Journey – This post means a lot to me, mostly because I have struggled with weight and fitness for the majority of my lifetime, and finding a fitness routine that works for me has been incredible. And it’s all thanks to the be.come project!

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October’19 :

• Apprenticeship Awards Ceremony – How could I not include this when it is one of the best memories I have from last year. I’m still in shock that I was awarded ‘Apprentice of the Year’, and that I got to meet Warwick Davis!

November’19 :

• Everyday Makeup Tutorial – This was the second video I’d filmed since my black tee styling video, and it was so much fun to do as I’d never filmed my makeup routine before! And that video is up on my IGTV still to this day!

December’19 :

• Top 20 Christmas Movies! – Anyone who knows me, knows that I love Christmas, and in my household Christmas starts about 2 days after Halloween. So as you can imagine, I have quite a few favourite Christmas movies!
• Easy DIY Snowmen – I had to include these, I give these out as gifts around Christmas every other year, and people are always asking me how I make them, so this post was a lot of fun to put together!

January’20 :

• Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid To Change Up Your Hair – This post is great, and a prime example of how much I believe in not being afraid to change your hair is that during the current quarantine we’re in in the UK, my mum and I got bored and decided to give me an impromptu haircut. (If you want more details let me know and I’ll do a post on it soon!)

So much has changed over the last year, I’ve finished one apprenticeship, then continued learning by starting the next level up, I’ve started my own business (called Sociaglow if you’re wondering), I’ve bleached my hair to bits for fun, chopped most of it off for fun, I’m now single, and I have fully embraced who I am, in all of my weird quirky self.

And I couldn’t be happier with where I am right now. The last year has had ups and downs, but at the end of the day I have so many things to be grateful for and people that I love and cherish. And I can’t wait for what the next year will hold!

Oh, and be prepared for things to get weirder and so much more wonderful!

What’s your favourite post been from the last year? Let me know in the comments! Have a great weekend my lovelies, and stay safe out there (or should I say ‘in there’?). To keep up to date with everything I’m up to, go follow my insta’s @theweightofmyworlds and @sociaglow !

Love,

1 Year Of Blogging.

Yesterday was my Blog’s first birthday/my Blogiversary!! I can’t quite believe that I’ve been blogging for a year already.. it’s gone so so fast! So in order to mark this occasion, I thought it’d be quite nice if we went for a trip down memory lane of the past year!

It’s safe to say that I’ve changed a lot in the last 12 months..

From February 2018 – 2019:

Now!

It’s amazing how much I’ve changed over the last year. And I think a lot of that is down to blogging, and how much blogging has helped me find myself and who I want to become. I’m now so much more confident than before and I’ve learnt to be apologetically myself within all of my perfect imperfections.

Since the start of my blog, I’ve managed to write 56 posts and I’ve enjoyed writing every single one. I can’t wait to write hundreds more and I’m so grateful to all of my subscribers for your support.

Instead of deciding which post/posts are my favourite for the year, I’ve decided to pick a favourite one for each month!

So, what’ve been my favourite posts over the last year?

February’18 :

• And So The Journey Begins… – After all, that’s where it all began!

March’18 :

• Going Minimalist – That transformation and clear out was so much fun, and I now clear out my stuff every three months and donate what I don’t need anymore!

April’18 :

• A Letter To My 10 Year Old Self – This one was hard but good to write, and I think this is a great way for anyone to reflect on their past.

May’18 :

• How I Lost 42lbs – Because this one is something I get asked a lot, so it was nice to explain how I lost my weight healthily.

June’18 :

• I Tried BoomBod For A Week – I loved this post, because I love testing out products so people know whether or not something does what it claims to do!

July’18 :

• Wedding Guest Outfits – I had a lot of fun picking out those outfits, and looking back on them makes picking out outfits for weddings so much easier.

August’18 :

• My Acne Journey – This one took a few months collecting photos, but it’s so nice to be able to see what a transformation my skin has been through.

September’18 :

• Giveaway Time! – I loved being able to send two of my lovely subscribers little gift boxes!

October’18 :

• Rainbow Cake Recipe – This post took a good few weeks to put together, purely for the fact that there were so many photos and instructions to write up and edit!

November’18 :

• Why I Started Blogging – Because it was nice to share with you all what made me begin blogging and what continues to motivate me.

December’18 :

• Why I’m Refusing To Make New Years Resolutions About My Body – This one was a super important one for me as new years resolutions are something I always made about my body.

January’19 :

• Body Positive Instagrams You Need To Follow – This one was a lot of fun to write, as I’m so glad I got to share all of those amazing positive accounts with you!

And then for February it has to be this post of course!!

For the next years coming I can’t wait to write more about fashion, going out, mental health, my life and everything lifestyle related.

I’m also thinking about the possibility of starting vlogging along with writing; what do you think about vlogging with blogging? Is that something you’d like to see from me? Let me know in the comments! (granted I may do it anyway, but it’d be nice to know if that’s something you’d like to see from me!).

I hope you liked today’s walk down memory lane with me my lovelies! This last year has been amazing, and that’s all thanks to you, my incredible subscribers and followers! Have a great weekend lovelies!!

Love,

Birthday Reflections.

Thursday was my birthday!! Which means I ate cake, got pampered and did a bit of reflecting on what I want for the next year of my life. I guess it’s a little like new years resolutions but without the guilt if you break them. Reflecting on what I want for myself in the next months is something I’ve never really done before, but the time just feels right.

So, lets get into it!

1 . I am learning (and loving) how to be unapologetically myself.

2 . I want to wear whatever I want, no matter how wacky, weird or boring without fear of being judged, because my opinion is the only one that matters when it comes to my appearance!

How cute was my birthday outfit?! I love that jumper and accessories so much!

3 . Not feeling guilty for any food I eat or workouts that I don’t do.

4 . Be proud of myself for my little achievements.

5 . I want to schedule away at least one day a month for a selfcare day.

6 . Continue to push myself out of my comfort zone and try more new things.

7 . I want to read more books, I love reading but struggle to find stories I get sucked into, so I am on a mission to find some new books!

8 . Learning to love my hair when it’s natural and style it without heat.

9 . Continue blogging as it has brought me so much joy, and I love being creative!

10 . Giving people compliments when I like something about them, whether it’s a piece of clothing, their personality, attitude and/or anything really. It’s always nice bringing a smile to someone’s face, and you never know how much of a difference it can make to someone’s day.

Well, that’s what I’m going to be doing for this upcoming year, and I can’t wait to see what it’s going to throw at me! And I cant wait to see where I’m at in another years time.

So here’s to being another year older, wiser, happier and more comfortable in my own skin. Have a great weekend everyone!!

Love,

 

 

Why I Started Blogging

 

Hello my lovelies! I can’t believe we’re in November already!

So, I’ve been blogging for a few months now, and something I get asked quite often when people I know find out I have a blog is why did I start blogging? What pushed me into pursuing blogging for myself?

Well, this week I’m going to let you into the reasons what made me want to start theweightofmyworlds and what pushed me to actually going forward and creating/publishing my blog!

Part of the idea to start blogging came after reading many blogs and thinking about how amazing and fun they look to write. When the initial thought popped into my head to begin my own blog I thought maybe I should just treat it like a sort of journal or diary of my life? And then I thought back to doing English at school and never being amazing and doubted my ability to write.. however, even though I wasn’t great at the typical English lessons it did occur to me that I was pretty good at writing as if I were talking to people and doing some creative writing.

As you can imagine, all of these thoughts to start writing popped into my head as I were about to go to sleep (which is when I seem to get the most motivation to do stuff, am I the only one with this??). So, I decided to type the general idea into my phone reminders so it would pop up in the morning and actually remind me of last nights idea to start my blog, which it did.

For a few weeks after this I then put off beginning my blog because I still doubted myself a bit and I just needed that extra push. And that came in the form of my younger sister Phoebe.

Here’s my younger sister Phoebe, without her giving me one of my initial ideas to start blogging, I wouldn’t be where I am today!

Well believe it or not what pushed me into starting my own blog was when I thought of a project I wanted to do to help my sister as she was growing up (she’s growing up way too fast for my liking!). I wanted to create her a sort of ‘guide’ for everything that she’ll go through growing up and going through school. And then it occurred to me that that can become easily outdated and with technology moving forward so quickly that maybe I should just go for it and create my own blog that she can visit for advice and general life stuff.

Whilst all of this was swimming round in my head, a bit of a life re-adjustment (well I guess that’s what I would call it?) happened for me. That was the final push I needed to really kick start what you’re reading this on today!

The life adjustment that pushed me to start my own blog was that I began my own recovery journey from an eating disorder. I know, heavy stuff.. I’ll be brief (there’s previous posts about this you can find on here anyway) and I thought that writing my story and things that I go through would help me in that recovery. And that’s part of why my blog is called ‘The Weight Of My Worlds’.

Since beginning my blog it has allowed me to really own what I want to talk about. I love speaking up about body positivity, de-bunking fads that do no good to our mental health, talking about fashion, food, fun projects from Pinterest that are actually feasible.. telling you all about my weird, wonderful and down right funny life experiences and generally interacting with this amazing community that I have been welcomed into with open arms.

I was actually planning on writing this post for my blog’s one year anniversary, but I decided that what better time to talk about how far The Weight Of My Worlds and I have come than now. Reflecting on your achievements and what/who pushed you towards doing great things not only for yourself but others too is a great thing that we shouldn’t have to make a plan or schedule talking about it. Any time is a great time to celebrate your own victories! Especially the small ones, they all add up to great memories.

Why did you start blogging? What do you love about it? Let me know in the comments!

And with that my lovelies, that’s all from me today! Have a great weekend everyone!

Love,

 

Anxiety, Eating, Body Image Issues and ME

Something you’ll find out about me sooner or later is that I suffer with a few mental health problems, so just putting them out there now, I suffer with anxiety, I’ve got OCD tendencies when it comes to food and I also have body image, weight and eating issues.

These problems or challenges as I’ve tried to think of them as, developed at different points in my life; when I was diagnosed with anxiety (several years ago now), I can’t say I was surprised. I had always been quiet as a child and was often forgotten to even be in the room because I never really spoke.

Every single parents evening at school I would be told the exact same thing – “Victoria is getting good grades and always listens to what’s being said but she needs to put her hand up and participate more”. Something that I never understood was that if my grades are up then why did they always want me to put my hand up more? I always did the work and homework and never misbehaved. But hey, I guess they just thought it’d help my confidence. I would turn red in the face just having to say yes to during the register.

Sometimes it felt like it’d never get easier for me to speak up and that’s probably due to the anxiety, I have a deep fear of making a fool of myself, disappointing people and just generally talking to people I don’t know very well.

Here’s the thing with my anxiety, as I’ve gotten older I’ve learnt to hide it (with lots of practice), so it’s not always obvious that I suffer with it. If you saw me with people I’m close to then you’d think there’s nothing wrong with me. If I’m comfortable with you I’ll just say whatever comes into my head. I suppose my anxiety around talking to people has got a little better over time, but I do know that I’m a better listener than when it comes to talking. (I can see I’m starting to rabbit on a bit about this now so I’ll move on..)

When it comes to my OCD tendencies and my eating/body issues, these are much more recent things in my life. You see, this time last year I was a size 18 girl who was going on 13stone+. I absolutely hated myself and how I looked then, and I’d tried all different diets and fads out there to try and lose weight. Long story short – nothing worked for me. I’d always wished that I could love my body and props to all the men and women out there who do love themselves, you’re an inspiration!

So for me I was in denial about how I felt about my image, I’d tell myself that I liked how I looked and I liked my size, but deep down I couldn’t stand to look at myself. Then one day came along and I decided to try the one thing I hadn’t yet done, Slimming World. I started Slimming World in July last year, and since then I’ve lost 3 stone and 2 pounds and am now a size 10. It’s taken loads of hard work and perseverance and I was lucky to have the support from my family, friends and lovely boyfriend. Now, as proud of myself as I am and that I do like how I look more than I did; I still hate seeing how wide my body is in the mirror(somethings never change I guess!).

Here I am in one of my old t-shirts. You could use it as a tent!!

For me, going to slimming world has had positive and negative affects on my life. Positives are that I now eat a lot healthier, I work out 3-5 times a week, my weight is now healthy for my height (still think bmi is a load of rubbish though), I can share clothes with my mum and sister(big pros for when any of us are off out!) and I’m more confident in public.

The negatives that Slimming World has had on me are something I’m working on getting better. So although I have more of an awareness of what I’m eating – which is good to a certain extent – I now obsess over every little thing I consume, syn counting (a Slimming World method of counting ‘unhealthy food’ – like weight watchers points) has kind of taken over my life to the point where I can’t control myself when eating as all I think of is the amount on syns in food and I start freaking out when I don’t know what’s in food. I now feel guilty for every single bite of food I eat and feel the need to workout compensate for any food eaten, and I still see myself as that size 18 girl. I have an immense fear of putting all of the weight on, and I have to weigh myself every morning and see the number on the scale going down or I’ll beat myself up. Luckily I’ve got great support from my family, friends and boyfriends so I’m slowly getting a better mind-set towards food again.

Even though I’ve got all of these issues now I’ve lost weight, that’s not to say that if I had the choice to do it all over again that I wouldn’t go to slimming world, because I would. The good things for me have certainly outweighed some of the bad in my mind, and I’m trying to think of these bad things as challenges to overcome rather than just bad consequences of weight loss.

After all, I’m a lot healthier physically now than what I was, and that’s good; my mental health will always be a work in progress and that’s ok. I would say though, I feel like weight loss groups should have more of an after care for when people have lost lots of weight to tackle potentially developing things like eating disorders and body image issues. For now, I’ve decided to stop going to slimming world, and instead I’m focusing on staying healthy in my body and working on my mind-set towards food, and treating it like fuel to keep my body running.

I do just want to say that if you’re suffering with anything remotely like an eating disorder or other mental health issues then definitely go to your GP or a mental health service for some help and support, it’s totally worth the initial anxiety of talking about it.

Anyway, enough of my blabbering! That’s it for me about all of those things for now, I’ll maybe do a before and after post in the weeks to come… But we’ll see what happens. Thanks for reading and have lovely rest of the weekend!!

Love