Reflections and Resolutions.

Hello my lovelies! It’s the first post I’m writing for the year! I’ve left it a bit late compared to everyone else in writing about my 2020 and what I’m hoping for in 2021, but that’s because a ridiculous about of stuff (some good, some extremely shit) happened last year for me and I just haven’t had the mental space or time to sit down and download my thoughts.

A rundown of my 2020 goes a bit like this:

• January: Start of 2020 – Turned 24yrs old, went for an mri scan for my back, started dry January, officially came out to everyone as Pan.
• February: Went to Harry Potter Studio Tours, left an 8 year relationship, decided to turn my Dry January into Dry 2020 (what a decision to make in 2020).
• March: Fresh start, moved to a tiny room, started to feel like myself again, lockdown number 1 started, working from home began.
• April: A bit of a blur to be honest, I remember holding an at home escape room for my family, also sent an ipad to my grandparents in .
• May: Family quiz nights weekly, a socially distanced bbq with our bubble for my niece’s 2nd birthday my my sisters birthday.
• June: Went for another mri scan for my back, started online dating, started my witchcraft journey.
• July: Went for a few online dates – nothing came of it (but I did get my first online date and my first date in over 8 years out of the way), found out my Granny has terminal liver failure.
• August: First holiday abroad in about 4 years cancelled due to covid, bit of a shit month to be honest, but I got meds for my acne.
• September: Fully embraced the single life and learning to love myself for who I am, started exploring new fashion choices/styles.
• October: Halloween themed birthday party for my 4 year old nephew (in our bubble), started following people online that promote real bodies and body positivity/neutrality, savings took a big hit from car insurance and mot/service – essentially had to rebuild my car.
• November: Started Christmas shopping online, lockdown 2 I think? (I never fully left the first one) lockdown).
• December: Christmas, took a break from work, blogging and freelancing over the festive period, started loving and accepting my body for how it is now.

So that was my 2020. It had some real highs and some really low lows; the best things about 2020 for me were coming out, spending time with my family, finding myself again and having a bit of a reset. The real low lows were finding out my Granny is terminally ill, not being able to see family members, and general worries about everyone’s health.

All in all 2020 was a year of self discovery, reflection, love, loss, stress and rest. Oh, and I completed dry 2020 even with all the shit it threw at me!

Now that 2021 has begun, and with everything that happened last year, I’ve made the decision to only have 3 resolutions for the year and if anything else happens then I’m happy.

My three resolutions for the year are:

• Accepting my body as it is.
• To accept myself for who I am completely, not changing who I am/how I behave so I fit with what I think everyone wants me to be to them.
• Make the most of each situation.

And that’s about it! I’ve done my tarot reading for the year and I’m excited to see what this year will bring; I may do another post on that in the future but for now I’m going to keep it to me. One tarot card that I have on my altar at the moment is the card of the Fool. The Fool is the first card of the tarot and represents beginnings, journeys, joy, creativity and possibility; so I felt like it was a good card to start my year with.

I typically do a tarot reading once a month-ish and then whenever I feel drawn to my cards. (If you want some posts on tarot cards and readings let me know!) One project I’m also doing this year is designing my own tarot cards!

That’s about it for today my loves! I’m now off to go and read a book I haven’t been able to stop reading! Stay tuned for some fashion posts coming soon, and let me know if you have any post requests!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Love,

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Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid To Change Up Your Hair.

Happy Saturday my lovelies! How’s 2020 treating you so far? With us now in the new year, it can feel like the perfect time of the year to experiment with our appearance, whether that be by playing with makeup more (or less, you do you!), wearing new clothes that are out of your comfort zones or, you could switch up your hair.

Just before Christmas I did just that, I decided to get a big hair cut. Here’s how it happened, like how all of these sorts of decisions start for me, it began on Pinterest. I fell head first into the gorgeous hair pins rabbit hole and couldn’t stop pinning these incredible hair inspo photos for hours on end. It was a few hours before I noticed a pattern with the pins I kept adding to my boards; for one everyone had amazing natural waves and curls, and number two, they were all a lot shorter than my hair was at the time.

Lucky for me, I am all for changing up my hair, they only hair length I haven’t gone is the buzz cut, and for the longest time I’ve wanted to shave my head. Who knows, maybe 2020 will be the year for the buzz cut! Like many of you I imagine that like me you probably get the urge to chop all of your hair off when it’s long and vice versa.

Well my hair was below my collar bone, and had been for quite a while as I’ve been undergoing a hair health transformation which has led to me finding new ways to care for my hair and my natural waves and curls. If you want to see what my hair journey has been like then please check out my previous post on it here!

I debated getting my hair cut for a few weeks, and then I figured I would just go for it. I had decided I was going to go a little shorter and get a curly wavy fringe to go with the look. Because you know, what’s something all girls debate for weeks when it comes to hair… to fringe or not to fringe?

Knowing that my hair will grow back, I decided to book in for a hair appointment that same day and off I went to my local salon to get the big chop.

So, what did my hair look like before? Well here’s how long it was before the cut:

You can’t always tell the length of hair when it’s curly, and here it may not look that long to you, but when it was straight it was below my collar bone near my bust. Also, something you can’t see here is that the ends of my hair are still slightly damaged from how much I used to straighten it, so I was happy to get the last of my damaged hair chopped off.

So, what’s my hair looking like now you ask? Well… take a look!

My hair is certainly a lot shorter here that it was! But it as a whole lot healthier and it takes me half of the time it did before to do my hair which is great. I did have a curly wavy fringe for a little while which was super cute, but I am trying to keep my hair off my face as much as I can at the minute so my acne doesn’t flair up too bad on my forehead, so I’ll show you that another day.

My plan now is to grow my hair again, because it’s finally in a healthy place and I don’t plan on burning it to death again, so it’ll grow faster now that I actually know how to look after my curls. And if I decided to do another big chop in the future, so be it!

I’ve always been of the mindset that hair is hair and that it will grow back, so why not experiment and get it cut or coloured and try something new. I love all hair types, textures and lengths, they’re all beautiful in their own ways, and changing things up every now and again is so much fun for me!

Plus, I find sitting in the salon chair super relaxing and I could easily let a stylist cut all my hair off or dye it any colour if they wanted! Lots of people told me not to cut my hair because it was finally getting long, but here’s the thing.. it’s MY HAIR. ON MY HEAD. So.. thanks for the input but I’mma do me thanks.

Moral of the story:

Experiment with your hair! Have fun with it and don’t be afraid to try something new on a whim, because who knows, it might become your favourite look yet, and when it comes to trying something new, it’s your opinion that matters most, no one elses!

And with all of that said, what’s your hair like? Do you like to experiment with different styles and cuts? Let me know in the comments!

Have a great rest of the weekend my lovelies!

Love,

New Year Resolutions.

Happy Christmas my lovelies! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and I hope the new year brings you lots of happiness. I got lovely gifts in all shapes and sizes this Christmas, but the part I enjoy the most every year is spending the day with my loved ones.

So, as you can probably guess since we’re at the end of 2019, today’s post is all about my new year resolutions and if I managed to stick to the ones I made at the start of the year.

At the beginning of the year, I made resolutions to:

• Cycle to work.
• Read more.
• Continue writing my blog here.
• Learn to love my body more for everything it is and does.
• Wearing what I want to, regardless of other people’s opinions.
• Raise some money for charity through RED January.

First up, I did manage to cycle to work over the course of January, which was pretty good for me. One thing I didn’t account for when deciding to cycle more was that my chronic back pain would actually get a lot worse with cycling to work; this led to me having to stop cycling, but as soon as my health is in a better place, I will definitely start this up again as it was great for my mental health!

Next up I resolved that I wanted to read more. This one I did manage! I’ve read several body positive books, started listening to (and found a love for) audio books and I’m currently re-reading all of the Harry Potter books.

I of course have kept up with my third resolution of continuing my blog, because you’re reading this post now!

I’m very happy to let you know that since making the decision to learn to love my body at the beginning of the year, I have definitely made some big steps towards loving my body in the past year. One of the biggest things that has made a difference in my body image was finding a way to love exercise again, and exercising for the right reasons. Ever since beginning the be.come project, my attitude and outlook on physical activity has changed for life!

Going hand in hand with learning to love my body was wearing whatever clothes I wanted, and that was a huge success, now when I get ready in the morning it doesn’t even cross my mind that others will have an opinion about my clothes. After all, your own opinion on your appearance is the only one that matters.

Finally, I took part in RED January to raise some money for MIND which I did indeed complete and I managed to raise a small some to give to the mental health organisation.

So, with all of that reflecting done, what am I resolving to do in 2020?

Well..

• Continue last years resolutions.
• Find out what works for me now that I am off the pill (there will be a post about this when I’ve been a year free of it!).
• Find a skincare routine that works to help my adult acne (one of the cons to coming off the pill I was on for my acne).
• Make more time for my art.
• Finally get a diagnosis for my chronic back pain.
• Find a good work life balance and boundaries.
• Declutter every 3 months and try to stick to a minimalist approach to material things (I’m about to Marie Kondo this sitch!)
• Eat more vegetables and have meat free days in the week.
• Drink more water.
• Create a morning routine that works for me.
• Finally, I’m going to give up alcohol completely – I won’t lie, this one is super easy for me since I once have a drink once in a blue moon.

And those are my new years resolutions! I want to say a huge thank you to all of you who follow, read and support my blog, you really do mean the world to me and I certainly wouldn’t be where I am without you! And with that, that’s all from me! What’re your new years resolutions? Let me know in the comments!

Have a happy new year!

Love,

Birthday Reflections.

Thursday was my birthday!! Which means I ate cake, got pampered and did a bit of reflecting on what I want for the next year of my life. I guess it’s a little like new years resolutions but without the guilt if you break them. Reflecting on what I want for myself in the next months is something I’ve never really done before, but the time just feels right.

So, lets get into it!

1 . I am learning (and loving) how to be unapologetically myself.

2 . I want to wear whatever I want, no matter how wacky, weird or boring without fear of being judged, because my opinion is the only one that matters when it comes to my appearance!

How cute was my birthday outfit?! I love that jumper and accessories so much!

3 . Not feeling guilty for any food I eat or workouts that I don’t do.

4 . Be proud of myself for my little achievements.

5 . I want to schedule away at least one day a month for a selfcare day.

6 . Continue to push myself out of my comfort zone and try more new things.

7 . I want to read more books, I love reading but struggle to find stories I get sucked into, so I am on a mission to find some new books!

8 . Learning to love my hair when it’s natural and style it without heat.

9 . Continue blogging as it has brought me so much joy, and I love being creative!

10 . Giving people compliments when I like something about them, whether it’s a piece of clothing, their personality, attitude and/or anything really. It’s always nice bringing a smile to someone’s face, and you never know how much of a difference it can make to someone’s day.

Well, that’s what I’m going to be doing for this upcoming year, and I can’t wait to see what it’s going to throw at me! And I cant wait to see where I’m at in another years time.

So here’s to being another year older, wiser, happier and more comfortable in my own skin. Have a great weekend everyone!!

Love,

 

 

I’m Taking Part In RED January

Happy New Year everyone!! 2019 is upon us, and I can’t wait to see what great things are going to happen this year.

For me, this is the year of me trying new things and pushing myself out of my comfort zone; and what better way to start than by doing something I’ve never done before! Cycling. Now, I know what you’re thinking, how can I have never cycled before??

Well, that’s not 100% true, the last time I had a bike I was 6 and it still had stabilisers on it with pink tassels on the handlebars. So in my mind, I’ve never really done any cycling. Especially not on my own bike now that I’m an adult.

So, what even is RED January?

RED January was founded by Hannah Beecham after she found out how your mental health can benefit from exercise; she found this through helping her mother through the darkest of her depression with love, support and by working together towards a goal (The Walk The Walk Midnight Marathon).

Why am I taking part in RED January?

One of my new years resolutions for this year is to raise some money for charities that I have had a personal relationship with. And one of those charities is MIND.

I decided to take part in this challenge because I realised that I’m actually reasonably active; this is due to having to do physio for my back (that’s a post for another day) and developing a healthy relationship with exercise since recovering from anorexia, and it has definitely improved my mental health.

And also because I’ve just received my first every bike, I’m now cycling to work every day! So it makes sense that if I’m already being active every day and feeling the benefit, why not raise a little money in the process??

So that’s what I’m doing this month. Even on my birthday, the 17th! Taking part in RED January doesn’t sign you up for having to force yourself to do something terrible every day that is harrowing. The only requirement is that you do something active everyday in January, if you don’t like running, you can go for a walk, what if it’s raining and cold outside? You could do some yoga, find a workout on YouTube or simply dance around your house just in your pants if you want. That active part is up to you.

Now, since today is the 5th January, I’m about to go do day 5 of the blogilates 100 Ab challenge (wish me luck! I’ll be doing a follow up of this at the end of the month so stay tuned!) and then go for a bike ride if it’s nice outside.

Oh, and if you wanted to sponsor me, you can find my JustGiving page here! I know we’re all tight on money since Christmas is over, so don’t worry if you can’t donate, why not sign up to do the challenge yourself with me?

Have a great day lovelies!! See you next week!

Love,