Happy Saturday my lovelies! This past weekend I turned 25 and got to join the quarantine birthday gang. Since I couldn’t (and still can’t) go out or do anything for my birthday I decided to chill out with a slice of cake, low-alcohol wine and an episode of the Great Pottery Throwdown; which honestly is probably how I would’ve ended my birthday anyway being an introvert and little old lady at heart.
One of my Christmas presents was a gratitude journal so I’ve also been reflecting on what I’m grateful for, what lessons I’ve learnt over the last 25 years and I’ve also decided to make a list of things I want to do before I turn 30.
Things I’m grateful for are:
My body for getting me where I am today – even though I live with chronic pain, I’m grateful for what my body allows me to do.
My imagination and creativity.
My family and friends.
My job – it’s honestly the best job I’ve ever had and that’s not only because I love me work family but I also love making an impact in the mental health and addiction sector.
My newfound ability to not care what others think of how I look.
Music – it helps me find motivation, brings me joy and always helps me unwind.
For finding myself again over the last year.
So, onto the 25 things I want to do before I turn 30 (in no particular order):
Go to pride in London – I wanted to go last year but obviously due to covid we couldn’t, so hopefully by 2022 we can have an in person pride!
Buy my own home – at the moment I’m living at home with my family and saving up for a deposit so I can get a mortgage in a year or two.
Have a full diagnosis of my chronic back pain – if you didn’t know already, I’m a spoonie and have been going back and forth for over 4 years trying to find out what causing my back pain (you can read more about it here!).
Travel somewhere by myself – you always hear about these transformational travels people go on and I want to experience that!
Get a new car – mine happens to be slowly deteriorating on my driveway at the moment..but I’m also not going anywhere so it’s pointless replacing it until we can go out again.
Learn another language well enough to be able to actually have some form of simple conversation with others – I’m currently learning Spanish with the trusty ‘ole Duolingo.
Go to one of the sleepovers at the Natural History museum!
Get two more tattoos – a big one of peonies and another of a robin.
Learn how to code – I’m already learning this and know a decent amount, but it’s always good to keep learning and I want to be able to remember all of the different codes without needing to triple check them.
Take a fitness/dance class without feeling self-conscious – when I say that I look like a robot who has two left feet I’m not exaggerating.
Try throwing pottery – I’ve just never had the opportunity to do and love sculpting with clay in general.
Take a full life drawing course – I’ve dipped in and out of life drawing lessons over the years and I always absolutely loved them so I want to make them a regular thing when we can all meet up again.
Join or form a book club – I just need to read more to be honest and when I find a book I love I read it in about 4 days and then can’t find a book I like for ages.
Learn how to animate – I’ve made a start on this already by learning how to do basic animations in procreate but I want to get better at it!
Fully understand how taxes and all the other finance stuff works that we should’ve been taught in school.
Have a decent amount of money saved for emergencies.
Design and sew an entire outfit – I love the Great British Sewing Bee and I have an A-Level in textiles but I never give myself the proper amount of time to actually finishing sewing projects.
Sell some of my art – I’ve made art all my life and been too scared to actually sell it even when people say it’s great, so I think it’s about time I actually believe it when people say they would buy my work.
Have a solid morning and night routine.
Make more friends – I have less than 3 friends outside of my work family so I really need to learn how to make friends as an adult. If anyone knows how to do this please tell me hahaha.
Get better at swimming – I am an extremely weak swimmer.
Try more food – I’ve been a fussy eater all my life and I’m slowly getting better. Progress is still progress no matter how small.
Grow my hair as long as I can stand it now that it’s healthy – and then maybe I’ll shave it again and donate it for charity? Who knows?!
Do something that scares me.
Learn to stand up for myself when a boundary is crossed.
And those are my 25 things I want to do over the next 5 years. One of the biggest things on that list is getting my own place, and I can’t wait for the time when that happens, not only because it’ll be my own place, but also because I love interior design and can’t wait to decorate and make the place my own. Another thing I can’t wait to do is go to pride because it’s just such an uplifting time filled with celebration, community and love and to be there in person will be amazing.
You may have noticed that there are two things I’ve missed from my list that people my age are quite likely to include which is getting married and having kids. Well, I’m currently single, and believe it or not over the last year I’ve realised that I don’t actually mind being by myself; that doesn’t mean there aren’t days when I feel lonely, it just means that I’m fine with being by myself if that’s what happens in the end. And on the kids front, I’ve always imagined myself having kids one day, in fact when I was younger I thought I’d have kids by the time I’m 25, but as time has gone one I’ve realised that I’ll just have kids when I’m ready instead of putting a proper timescale on it. And if I do end up not having the ability to have children by myself for whatever reason (whether it’s because I’m by myself or if I’m in a relationship and it’s not possible) then I’ll either adopt, get a donor or foster.
It’s funny to me how much I’ve changed over the last year. I used to think that I needed to have so many big life events happen before 25 or before 28 and I would put stupid time frames on events you haven’t always got control of; and that was because I kept seeing people on social media my age having kids, getting married and buying their own places already. But what I completely forgot is that photo of house keys or engagement ring isn’t the entire story, and the majority of people feel like they’re behind. I’ve also realised that I’ve actually done a hell of a lot in the time I’ve been on earth, and I’m pretty proud of what I’ve achieved so far!
Hello my lovelies! It’s the first post I’m writing for the year! I’ve left it a bit late compared to everyone else in writing about my 2020 and what I’m hoping for in 2021, but that’s because a ridiculous about of stuff (some good, some extremely shit) happened last year for me and I just haven’t had the mental space or time to sit down and download my thoughts.
A rundown of my 2020 goes a bit like this:
January: Start of 2020 – Turned 24yrs old, went for an mri scan for my back, started dry January, officially came out to everyone as Pan.
February: Went to Harry Potter Studio Tours, left an 8 year relationship, decided to turn my Dry January into Dry 2020 (what a decision to make in 2020).
March: Fresh start, moved to a tiny room, started to feel like myself again, lockdown number 1 started, working from home began.
April: A bit of a blur to be honest, I remember holding an at home escape room for my family, also sent an ipad to my grandparents in .
May: Family quiz nights weekly, a socially distanced bbq with our bubble for my niece’s 2nd birthday my my sisters birthday.
June: Went for another mri scan for my back, started online dating, started my witchcraft journey.
July: Went for a few online dates – nothing came of it (but I did get my first online date and my first date in over 8 years out of the way), found out my Granny has terminal liver failure.
August: First holiday abroad in about 4 years cancelled due to covid, bit of a shit month to be honest, but I got meds for my acne.
September: Fully embraced the single life and learning to love myself for who I am, started exploring new fashion choices/styles.
October: Halloween themed birthday party for my 4 year old nephew (in our bubble), started following people online that promote real bodies and body positivity/neutrality, savings took a big hit from car insurance and mot/service – essentially had to rebuild my car.
November: Started Christmas shopping online, lockdown 2 I think? (I never fully left the first one) lockdown).
December: Christmas, took a break from work, blogging and freelancing over the festive period, started loving and accepting my body for how it is now.
So that was my 2020. It had some real highs and some really low lows; the best things about 2020 for me were coming out, spending time with my family, finding myself again and having a bit of a reset. The real low lows were finding out my Granny is terminally ill, not being able to see family members, and general worries about everyone’s health.
All in all 2020 was a year of self discovery, reflection, love, loss, stress and rest. Oh, and I completed dry 2020 even with all the shit it threw at me!
Now that 2021 has begun, and with everything that happened last year, I’ve made the decision to only have 3 resolutions for the year and if anything else happens then I’m happy.
My three resolutions for the year are:
Accepting my body as it is.
To accept myself for who I am completely, not changing who I am/how I behave so I fit with what I think everyone wants me to be to them.
Make the most of each situation.
And that’s about it! I’ve done my tarot reading for the year and I’m excited to see what this year will bring; I may do another post on that in the future but for now I’m going to keep it to me. One tarot card that I have on my altar at the moment is the card of the Fool. The Fool is the first card of the tarot and represents beginnings, journeys, joy, creativity and possibility; so I felt like it was a good card to start my year with.
I typically do a tarot reading once a month-ish and then whenever I feel drawn to my cards. (If you want some posts on tarot cards and readings let me know!) One project I’m also doing this year is designing my own tarot cards!
That’s about it for today my loves! I’m now off to go and read a book I haven’t been able to stop reading! Stay tuned for some fashion posts coming soon, and let me know if you have any post requests!
Hello my lovelies and Happy Christmas! It’s been an absolute madhouse for me over the last month, and to be completely honest I’ve not had a chance to write up any new posts for the festive period; one of those reasons is because my older sister is about to have her third baby!
So, today, instead of a new Christmas post today, I’m going to go through my favourite posts I’ve written for the festive season over the past few years! And with that, let’s get into it!
Let’s face it, with everything that’s been going on in 2020, none of us has been going out, and now is the perfect time to snuggle down and have a movie marathon with all our favourite Christmas movies.
Who doesn’t love looking at other people’s Christmas decorations?! Each year we decorate my house like mad, and it essentially ends up looking like a Santa’s grotto haha, this year we’ve added loads of lights outside!
I haven’t seen many naughty Christmas elves this year but this post still makes me smile, especially the one above with the nutella and peanut butter! It’s the little things at this time of year that add up to making this time period great.
Ok, so I only put this post up a few weeks ago, but I love these simple easy diy Santa gnomes! I’ve now decorated one of our Christmas trees with them and they are a great way to make your tree a little different this year instead of just the usual baubles.
I can’t believe I wrote this post about 2 years ago! It really is crazy how time flies. And even though this post is from 2018, I still really love the nail art I did here!
So, those are my favourite Christmas posts from the past few years! I absolutely love this time of year, the decorations, lights, food, giving gifts and the time we get to spend with family! This year will obviously be a little different in terms of being able to spend lots of time with all our families, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun and be grateful for what we have got!
I hope you have a great Christmas everyone! And a very happy new year!
Hello my lovelies! We’re finally in December, and that means the countdown to Christmas has begun! Since we’re in the lead up to Christmas, everyone is decorating their homes (if they haven’t already – to tell you the truth my house has been decorated since the 1st November!) I’ve been doing some festive diy’s!
One decoration I’ve seen, not for Christmas, but for all year round, was of some cute gnome pine cones. And it got me thinking that if I added a few details I could make these myself, and make them into some very cute Santas! And I managed to make about 25 of them for about £15 in total for all of the supplies!
So, here’s what you’re going to need:
Red and White Felt (and any other colours you want for your santa hats!)
Hot glue gun (plus some hot glue sticks)
I found everything I needed from Ebay and Amazon (if you buy from Amazon, make sure you’re on their Amazon Smile website as they donate money to a charity of your choice each time you buy something!) and everything arrived within a few days.
Right. Let’s get into it!
Step 1: Pick out your pine cone, I chose frosted pine cones for an even more Christmassy feel, then grab some felt in the colour you want for your santa hats. Using a pencil and some yarn, decide how tall you want your hat, and then hold down the end of the yarn at the corner of the felt and draw a 1/4 of a circle.
Step 2: Cut out your 1/4 of a circle and put away any excess for making more hats later. Or you can make a bulk batch of hats in one go, the choice is yours! Now plug in your glue gun, making sure you’ve got it on a safe surface as some glue can come out of the tip as it heats up so be careful!
Step 3: Once your glue gun is hot and ready to go, put a line of glue down one of the straight edges. Next up is rolling up the felt into its cone shape! I recommend starting at the tip of the hat (the corner of the felt will be the tip) and working your way down, be careful with this part and take your time so you don’t burn yourself!
Step 4: Once you’ve got yourself a cone hat, put it on top of your pine cone and double check it’s sitting how you want it to, and if you need to, give it a trim like I did. Now that the main part of your Santa hat is ready, it’s time to add that white trim! Grab your white felt and cut a strip of it, long enough to go round the bottom of the hat, I don’t measure this part and just trim off any extra but you can definitely measure it if you want to! The strip I use is usually around 1.5-2cm thick.
Step 5: It’s time to attach the white trim to the hat, so grab your glue gun and put a line of hot glue over the white felt and carefully wrap it round the bottom of your hat. I definitely glued my fingers a few times during this part so be wary if you’ve never got hot glue on yourself before!
Step 6: Pick your desired pom pom! I went for the classic white pom pom but in the pack I got from Ebay I got a mix of the red, green and white. Use a small blob of hot glue and add it onto the end of your hat! If your hat is especially pointy, you can snip the tip off so you have more space to add the pom pom to. Now add a ring of glue on the inside of your hat (this part reminds me of the Matilda movie) and stick it onto your pine cone so it’s secure!
Step 7: Now it’s time to make Santa’s beard! Grab your white yarn and wrap it around your fingers until you’ve got a decent bundle, remember not to do it too tight, you still want to be able to move your fingers! Then chop the end of the yarn from the bundle, leaving about 15-20cm of yarn unwrapped.
Step 8: Here comes the slightly fiddly part. With the end of the yarn, thread it between your fingers a few times, so you create a bowtie shape. Then you’re going to thread the end of the yarn through on of the sides of your bowtie, leaving a loop. Here you can switch to just two fingers wrapped in the yarn.
Step 9: With your yarn now threaded through one of your bowtie sides, you want to thread the end of your yarn through the loop you’ve just made and pull it fairly tight. Now repeat the process once again and cut off any extra yarn.
Step 10: Time to make Santa’s bowtie into a beard! Take the bundle off your fingers, and cut along the looped edges (a bit like what you do when you make pom poms) on either side, and you’ll have a funny looking bow.
Step 11: Using your hands you can shape the bow into a beard shape. Once you’ve got it to a shape you’re happy with, add a bit of hot glue to the back, where you wrapped the yarn to bind it together, and stick it onto your pine cone. You may need to hold it in place for a few seconds to make sure it sits how you want it to!
Step 12: The final step! Add a small blob of hot glue to the very top and centre of Santa’s beard and add on your wooden bead as his nose!
And voila! You’re done and your Santa is ready to be put on your tree, used as table decorations, given as gifts or pur all around your house! I personally find these super cute, and you can change up the style of them so they suit your taste, I’ve made a few with hats that are flopped down, and a few in green since Santa was originally in green instead of red! I’m also thinking of making a few in some more colours to match the different coloured tree decorations we’ve got going on this year! I find these quite mindful and relaxing to make, so when I’m making them I put on a movie with some snacks and a cup of tea, and before I know it I’m surrounded by Santa gnomes!
What crafts and Christmas diy’s are you doing this year? Let me know if there’s any you’d like to see me try, and if you try these, let me know how it goes and tag me on insta @theweightofmyworlds so I can see your cute crafts!
Hello my lovelies! I hope you’re all staying warm during these dark and colder days. I’m loving these colder days, but I will say that this year I’m feeling the cold quite a bit more because I cut all my hair off in March as many of you know! My last hair update was around April, which I can’t believe was 8 months ago; so I figured I would give you another update because my hair has changed a lot recently!
So, let’s jump in to how my hair has looked over the course of the last few months!
First up, we’ve got March, where I finally took the plunge and shaved my hair off, which is still one of the best decisions I’ve ever made not only for my hair health but also for my mental health. I never believed everyone when they said that shaving their hair off was super liberating and freeing, but it really was and it completely shifted my views on my own beauty.
Next up we’ve got April, where I made the decision to trim my hair every two weeks and then at the end of April I made the decision to grow out my hair and see what my curls look like when they’re completely healthy!
After deciding to start growing my hair out, we’ve got May, and my hair is a little bit longer; but it’s not a length where it can be styled yet!
Next up we’ve got June! June is when my hair got to a length that it could actually be styled, and I ended up going pink for about 2 weeks!
In July I was able to actually get my hair trimmed and then I went back to being a brunette so my hair could grow out as my natural colour without my roots being super bold! Here I had a brief moment where my hair was long enough to be styled, and due to my hair type I could make it fairly straight when I brush it out and dry it without a diffuser, so that’s what I started doing.
Next up is August, and here is when my curls and waved started to come back in full force! I stopped drying my hair to avoid any heat damage, but on the off chance I did dry my hair with a diffuser I used heat protectant spray.
In September I had about 2 weeks of straightening my hair to try and make myself look a little more presentable when going out and about because my hair was getting to a length where the sides were sticking out a bit too much, and then I decided to just go for it and let my crazy hair be what it wants to be.
Next up is October, where my hair health is back in full force and my curls are finally at a point where they’re crazy bouncy and feel super soft. This month I also decided to dye my hair with a semi-permanent dye, which ended up staying permanent (a happy accident!).
And finally, here I am now! I’ve found a method/routine that works well for me, and my curls are now insane! My hair is finally shiny, soft and super bouncy, which I don’t think I’ve ever managed to get before I shaved my head! Some mornings my hair looks absolutely insane, a bit like I’ve been dragged through a hedge, but most mornings that can be hidden with a headband or refreshed with my spray bottle.
So.. that’s where I’m at with my hair now! I’m not going to lie, I now don’t feel like myself when my hair isn’t its natural texture, even if it does look a little crazy from time to time!
My current routine involves washing my hair with shea moisture manuka honey shampoo, following up with shea moistures manuka honey conditioner, then shea moistures strengthen and restore styling lotion and finally a little bit of twisted sistas gel! Then I go in and add a spritz of heat protection spray and diffuse until my hair is 90% dry. Then I scrunch it out and fluff!
I straightened my hair yesterday to check its length and I’m nearly at a short bob/mullet length now, so I can’t wait to check my hair length again in a few more months to see how long it is!
I used to hate having to look after my hair, but now I love looking after my hair and usually dedicate one day in the week to do a hair mask and just chill.
How do you like to take care of your hair? Have you had any big hair transformations over the last year? Show me on insta!
And with that, that’s all from me for today! Have a great weekend my loves!
Hello my loves! We’re in November and lockdown 2.0, so now is a great time to try some new things and have fun whilst being safe at home! So a few weeks ago (when tattoo and piercing shops were still open) I decided that I wanted to get a new tattoo. I’ve been mulling it over for quite some time, but being an indecisive person I find it hard to commit to having something permanently on my skin. Plus it doesn’t help that my first tattoo didn’t go so well! And since I’m so indecisive about what I want tattooed and where I decided to try out temporary tattoos to help me make a decision.
And that’s when I remembered a brand called Inkbox.
I’ve known about Inkbox for a few years now, after seeing their adverts all over social media and youtube and I’ve always wanted to try them but for some reason never did, until now!
For my tattoo I picked out a snowdrop as that’s one of my birth flowers (the other being a carnation for January) and I’ve always loved those minimalistic tattoos that are basically just a line drawing. I also picked up some of their freehand ink, so I can design my own tattoos as I know that I want to have drawn my own piece so it’s one of a kind.
Once ordered it took 2-3 weeks to arrive from america.
In your pack you get a primer wipe, your tattoo, some gloves and an instruction card. Check out the video tutorial below for how everything works!
Here’s the step by step for application:
Decide where you want to tattoo.
Prime your skin for 30 seconds with the primer wipe (if you are putting the tattoo where there’s a lot of hair you may need to shave it) and let it dry.
Peel off the back of the tattoo and carefully place it where you want it, then remove the backing on the edges to fully stick the tattoo down.
Leave the tattoo on for 1 hour.
Peel off the tattoo, don’t let the tattoo get wet for the next 8 hours and let the tattoo develop over the next 24-36 hours and voila! You now have a tattoo that looks real and will last around 2 weeks depending on placement.
I’ve always loved the way floral line art looks either on the inside of the arm, the thigh or the ribs, so I chose the side of my ribs. Once applied the tattoo lasted just over 2 weeks for me. Below I photographed the tattoo right after application, after 36 hours, then one week, then after 2 weeks and finally a few days after that it disappeared.
So, what are my thoughts?
Well, now that I’ve finally tried Inkbox I absolutely love them. They’re super user friendly, look very realistic and they have thousands of designs available! They aren’t the cheapest if you compare them to the typical temporary tattoos from our childhood, but worth it in my book. I also love the fact that because there’s so many designs, there’s also a lot of different sizes you can pick up. And if you can’t find a tattoo design you really love, you can always order a customised piece or order some of the ink so you can draw it yourself! I tried the drawing ink myself on my wrist and my ankle and it’s the same application method as the pre-designed tattoos and I found that they lasted the same amount of time on my wrist as my ribs but it lasted nearly 4 weeks on the inside of my ankle!
I couldn’t recommend these enough to be honest, especially if you’re umming and ahhing about a certain design or placement, or if you’re just generally looking for a new tattoo! Another thing I love about these is that fact that you can use these when pregnant! I myself am not pregnant, but my sister is, and she has loads of tattoos and can’t wait to get some more, so being able to do these temporary ones in the meantime are great! And finally, these are great just for a little bit of fun!
What tattoos do you have or want to have done? Have you tried Inkbox before? Let me know in the comments!
Have a great weekend my lovelies! Stay tuned for some Christmas fun coming up soon!
Hello my lovelies! I hope you’re having a good October so far and are enjoying these autumn days. I love this time of year, getting to cosy up in blankets and baggy jumpers; not to mention the fact that it’s now spooky season and in the run up to Christmas! But before we get started on the Christmas festivities, it’s time for the Halloween ones!
Since we’re all still socially distancing and can’t really go trick or treating this year, I’ve come up with a few things you can do at home this Halloween!
Let’s get into it.
Halloween Costumes Games – Make some cards with halloween costume ideas (or use an app) and taking turns, each person has 60 seconds to find and create the costume they’ve picked out. It makes for some hilarious versions of costumes!
Make cute halloween themed bento lunch-boxes. Cute and delicious!
Hide sweets around the house and have a trick or treat treasure hunt! Who said you need to go outside to get treats?
Have a halloween movie night! I’ve got a movie marathon list here!
Carve pumpkins! A Halloween classic that you can do in your pyjamas!
Make your own popcorn and experiment with flavours and toppings! I once tried butter popcorn with caramel, white and milk chocolate drizzles on top and it was so good!
Have a spooky themed dinner! Or order takeaway, either works haha!
Hold a virtual Halloween party!
Go pumpkin or apple picking!
Try out some halloween crafts from pinterest!
Do a tarot reading – Something you may not know about me, is that I’m a baby white witch, so I’ll be taking some time to celebrate the full moon, Samhain and I’ll also be doing some tarot readings among other witchy stuff!
Have a spooky tea party with halloween themed food and drinks!
Bake some halloween biscuits!
Here’s the Halloween biscuit recipe I used, it’s a very simple one I grabbed from BBC Food and adapted a little:
100g unsalted butter (room temperature)
100g caster sugar
1 medium free-range egg (lightly whisked/beated)
1 tsp vanilla extract
275g plain flour
Preheat the oven to 190C(170C Fan). Put greaseproof paper in a tray.
Cream together the butter and sugar. Then, beat in the egg and vanilla extract, a little at a time, until well combined; then stir in the flour and cinnamon and bring together to form a dough (if your dough won’t form, add a tiny bit of water or milk).
Roll the dough out on a lightly floured work surface to a thickness of just under 1cm. Using biscuit cutters (I used halloween themed ones), cut biscuits out of the dough and carefully place onto the baking tray.
Bake for 8-12 minutes, or until pale golden-brown. Set aside to harden for 2 minutes, then cool on a wire rack.
Once cool, make up bowls of icing with icing sugar (I just eyeballed it) and gradually add water until the icing is thick but can still be spreaded.
Add in your different colours to the bowls, and then put the icing into piping bags.
Pipe on your designs and leave them to set.
These biscuits take about 40 minutes from start to finish, and they’re super simple. If you’re making them with kids you can get them to design their own monsters!
Hello my lovelies! We’re in October, and that means we’ve got 3 weeks until Halloween! So this week I’ve decided to give you a list of halloween, spooky season movies and tv series that are perfect for watching in the lead up to Halloween. Plus, I’m making this list especially for the scaredy cats like me, so you won’t find any horror movies here!
So, grab yourself some snacks, your favourite cosy blanket and your pj’s, and let’s get into it!
1 . Halloweentown – I watched this for the first time the other day and it is great! It’s a easy feel good halloween movie.
2 . Hocus Pocus – I love this movie. It’s perfect for watching with the entire family and I can’t help but smile when I watch it!
3 . Beetlejuice – A little spookier but with a great dance number that I think we will all be singing for days to come!
4 . Shaun of the Dead – Not one for the little kids, but an absolute classic. And a forever favourite with my family.
5 . Casper – You can’t really go wrong with a friendly ghost!
6 . Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit – Perfect for the little kids, my niece and nephew love this one.
7 . Corpse Bride – Tim Burton doing what Tim Burton does best!
8 . The Nightmare Before Christmas – An all time favourite that can be rewatched over and over again and still not be bored with it. It’s the perfect bridge between halloween and christmas!
9 . Coraline – Freaky alternate universe with buttons for eyes.. spooky no?
10 . Ghostbusters – Whether you like the originals or the new version, ghostbusters is a must for halloween!
11 . Coco – Cute, good music and an easy watch; just don’t forget some tissues!
12 . Monster Inc – An oldie but a goodie. This one’s great to watch with the kids, I can’t believe some kids nowadays haven’t seen monsters inc before, I even had the game!
13 . The Craft – You must’ve seen this challenge going around on tiktok at the moment where you lift your friends up with your fingertips, well if you have, now you know where it’s from!
14 . The Addams Family – Funny, and an absolute classic. Tell me you’re not singing the song in your head right now?!
15 . The House with a Clock in its Walls – A recent addition, and who doesn’t love a movie with Jack Black?
16 . Goosebumps – This movie is great for when you’re not a massive fan of scary films but don’t mind being spooked a little.
17 . Buffy the Vampire Slayer – I started watching Buffy last week and now I’m into season 3 (all of it is on Amazon prime at the moment!), it’s super addictive with vampires, demons and high school drama!
18 . The Witches – Maybe skip this one if you’re freaked out by old school special effects, this one I have a love hate relationship with. It’s a classic, but the special effects creep me out a lot, but not so much I won’t watch it!
19 . Chilling Adventures of Sabrina – I remember watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch when I was little, so was so excited when Netflix brought out the chilling adventures of Sabrina a few years ago; and I was not disappointed!
20 . Stranger Things – I love stranger things, it’s just an amazing series and once you start watching it I guarantee you won’t stop! And even if you have seen it before, rewatching it never gets old!
21 . Dark Crystal – I have the movie (from what feels like a lifetime ago) on dvd, and Netflix has filmed a series of it! If you know the movie, give the series a go for some nostalgia!
22 . Edward Scissorhands – Johnny Depp with a million pairs of scissors for hands, who would’ve thought he’d make such a good barber?!
23 . E.T. – This film is perfect for halloween and christmas. I guarantee you’ll be able to find the on the telly on repeat over the next few months, and I’m not surprised because who doesn’t love e.t. and wish they had their own friend from another planet?
24 . The Goonies – An oldie but an a oh so goodie. This one is a must for any halloween movie marathon.
This list is by no means in order from best to least best, because what I put on the telly definitely depends on what sort of spook I’m in the mood for! But those are just a few of my favourite Halloweeny movies and tv shows that I think are perfect for watching around this time of year!
So, what are your favourite shows and movies to watch around this time of year? Let me know in the comments below!
Have a great weekend my loves, and I hope you’re enjoying this spooky season!
Hello my loves! I hope you’re doing well and are keeping your head up in these difficult times. 2020 has been a year of ups and downs (mostly downs) for a lot of us, but I have had one big piece of good news; I finally got a diagnosis for my chronic back pain I’ve had over the last 4 years.
Some of you may already know that I am a ‘spoonie’. If you’re not familiar with the term, ‘spoonie’ is a term that can be used to describe someone who lives with a chronic illness and pain. From what I’ve heard and experienced, it usually takes people up to/around 8 years to typically get a diagnosis when it comes to chronic pain, illness or autoimmune disease.
So, when did all of this start for me?
When I was around 15 years old, I started to get chest pains that were predominantly in the left side of my chest, right where my heart is; so naturally I was pretty concerned with the fact that I was getting stabbing pains where my heart is. It was the kind of pain that I couldn’t fully pin-point, it was under my left breast, deep and it felt like it was almost at the back of my ribcage, a bit like if a shard of glass was being shot through my chest. What’s worse is that it felt like no one believed me when I said I was having intense chest pains pretty much every day, sometimes preventing me from moving.
When I went to the doctors I was told that it’s anxiety and it should go away once I’d finished my GCSEs. Well it did not. I lived with that pain for another 3ish years, and then the pain began to fade away; then when I was 19/20 I found a lump in my left breast. Right where the pain had been. This led to getting my boobs out for several people (which is not as fun as it may sound I assure you!) and then having two rounds of ultrasounds on my boobs to make sure everything was ok. It was then that I found out that I have something called a fibroadenoma, which is a lump in my breast, but lucky for me it is benign. It just means it’s something I have to keep an eye on, incase anything changes. One thing I did find out at that time that fibroadenomas can cause pain, which would explain the pain I had in the left side of my chest for the previous years.
So, what happened next?
Well everything seemed fine for a little while, and then towards the end of 2017 I started getting a dull ache in my back. To begin with I just assumed that maybe I’d pulled a muscle in my back and after a few weeks all would be well again. But boy oh boy I was wrong. The next few months turned into a year and my pain had gotten a lot worse and had spread to more areas of my back. You might think that after a year of back pain I would feel fine about going to the doctors to get help, but it took a few more months for me to recognise that my pain is valid and I shouldn’t have to live in pain everyday not knowing what’s wrong. And I think part of the reason why I felt my pain wasn’t valid was because of my past experience not being believed by doctors, who told me I was too young to have anything wrong with me.
Once I finally went to the doctors in 2018, I was told that everything seemed fine with my back, and I’d probably just pulled something or bruised myself at some point. After all, how could someone have back problems when they’re only 22 years old? About two more months went by, and the pain was getting unbearable at this point and I now cracked like a glow stick whenever I moved, so I decided to go back to the doctors. After a fair bit of time trying to actually get an appointment, I saw a doctor who told me he thought that I had hypermobility in my back, and that that is what was causing my pain; so they sent off a referral for physiotherapy for me so they could have a closer look.
Fast forward about another month, and I get a letter in the post from the nhs, which I was hoping would give me an appointment date and time but in actual fact it just gave me the phone number of the physiotherapy ward for the hospital that I could’ve gotten off the internet myself.. so after calling up that number it was another 2 months before I could get an appointment with a physiotherapist.
So after much anticipation and waiting, my physiotherapy appointment finally came round and I was hoping I would finally get some answers. I went into my appointment, saw a physiotherapist and was told I had extreme joint hypermobility in my spine and that I need to strengthen up my core and glutes in order to get some pain relief because my muscles had seized up in my thoracic spine (mid back), and I was given some exercises to do at home and then some standard physio classes to take part in over the course of 6 weeks.
This did seem like it was a likely cause of my pain at the time because when I was little I had to have physiotherapy due to having problems with muscle tone and not having any in my stomach or bum. In particular my left butt cheek because when I was a toddle I didn’t have any muscle in it.. I had a big dip where a butt cheek should’ve been. I also walked with my feet completely turned in and had to do physio for months with my mum every single day to correct my legs as much as possible.
Having no muscle tone and issues building up muscle tone means that I would have to workout a whole lot more that other people to get even a remote change in my body; and this is part of the reason why I thought that the physiotherapist was correct in their diagnosis (it’s also why I’ve accepted I will never ever have abs and that’s ok).
So, the next 6 weeks go by and.. no change, well not completely true, I did build up my fitness quite a bit which was good, but my pain actually got worse. At this time though, instead of telling the physiotherapist that everything was getting worse, I said I felt a little bit better because I didn’t want to disappoint the therapist. So I left physiotherapy and decided to continue trying to build up my muscle tone by joining the gym and going 3 – 4 times a week, and after that didn’t help and a lot of googling at what else could be wrong with me, I decided to seek out an osteopath.
When I went to the osteopath I was then told that some minor realignments, deep tissue massage and acupuncture could potentially help with my pain after a few months of consistent work. Now, don’t get me wrong, I loved these regular appointments because I essentially got my bones cracked, a massage and then some acupuncture that as super relaxing, but they did nothing for my pain. And at £40+ a pop for 45 minutes on an apprentices wage, I couldn’t justify continuing to go considering I wasn’t seeing results.
Next I decided to go back to my doctors once again. And it was in this appointment that I was told that I look fine and workout so the pain can’t be that bad, maybe it’s anxiety or in my head, because I’m too young to be in that much pain, especially in my back. I was once again told that it’s probably joint hypermobility, was sent for some blood tests and was prescribed some heavy duty painkillers and anti-inflammatory meds.
When my bloods came back fine and my inflammatory markers within the correct range, I decided not to take the drugs that were so willingly thrown at me to shut me up and was pretty frustrated and ready to give up on trying to find out what was causing me so much pain.
I even started to think that maybe this was all in my head. Was I just trying to attract attention? Or is my pain tolerance super low? Maybe it was my fault I was in pain, I can’t be doing everything I should be to help myself.
The medical professionals couldn’t possibly be wrong or dismissing my pain, after all, they’re trained and are experts unlike me and dr google.
I essentially gave up trying to get help at this point. Appointments every single month and paying out for prescriptions I wasn’t using because they were just being thrown at me to shut me up was getting so discouraging and expensive.
It got to the point where I was crying from pain, unable to walk more than 10 minutes without being in agony and having to take time off work because I could hardly move for me to go back to the doctors and ask for them to look again. And I was given a phone call appointment with a doctor who gave me some blood tests. When I called them up asking to discuss what my results were I was told that they were fine and that I probably have chronic fibromyalgia and that I should take more pain meds daily and try tai-chi. After that phone call I think I just sat and cried for about 2 hours, thinking what a load of absolute shit that call was and that they weren’t even going to try and look at any other avenues before diagnosing me with a crushing incurable illness.
After a good cry and letting my frustrations out, I decided I wasn’t going to take that as my diagnosis without further tests. So, with my birthday coming up, I asked my close family for money to go towards a private mri scan. By this point we’re in January of this year. Using money from my birthday and all of my savings, I managed to get myself an mri booked to take a look at my thoracic spine where the pain originated and where my spine continually pops and cracks like mad. And you’ll never guess what day my mri was booked.. my birthday. My actual birthday. Kinda funny when you consider that I was that desperate to get answers that for my birthday I essentially asked for an mri scan. So, on my actual birthday, in the evening (when I should’ve been having a nice dinner or something) I was in a metal tube surrounded by deafening noise feeling incredibly claustrophobic.
Three days later my results arrived. Pictures and report included. It said I have mild lower disc degeneration, TOTALLY NORMAL FOR A 24 YEAR OLD.
The next day I called the doctors up yet again.
And by some miracle, I finally got in to see the only doctor in my entire practice that I was yet to meet. I told them what the other doctor had said to me, and that I had paid for an mri and gave him my results. It was then that this doctor listed my complete history from my back and then asked me to talk him through what had been going on, which nearly made me cry. I was finally being listened to. Finally being heard.
It only took going through every single doctor in my doctors practice to get to this point..
This doctor then told me that I shouldn’t have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia without exploring all other possibilities, and that my lower disc degeneration is to be expected with joint hypermobility, however this disc degeneration is 10 years too early even in this case. They even said that at 24 I shouldn’t be in this much pain and pain meds are not something I want to be on long term. I was then poked and prodded, and this doctor said they would refer me to rheumatology because sometimes blood tests don’t always show when something is wrong.
After that appointment I’ll be honest, I was finally feeling hopeful. I’d been listened to, my pain validated; I wasn’t imagining this pain, it was real. So, a month goes by and I get a letter, my rheumatology appointment is at the start of June.
Then covid happened. Lockdown is in full swing. Everything feels a little like it’s going to shit.
Then around April I get a letter saying my appointment has been changed to a phone call. Safe to say I was gutted, angry and disappointed beyond belief. I did understand, with covid and everything I was expecting things to change, but that didn’t change the fact that I was disappointed that the appointment I’d waited nearly half a year for, was now going to be a 5 minute call.
So, we get to June, and my phone call appointment happens, after about 5 minutes of chatting the rheumatologist asked if I could come in and see her that day, in about an hour and a half’s time. Lucky for me I live about 10 minutes away from the hospital by car.
Along I went to see the rheumatologist in this deserted hospital because of covid, and she takes a look at my back, has a poke and prod and then right there and then says she’s going to send me for blood tests that day and thinks sending me for an mri to specifically look at my spine is a good idea!
Bloods taken, about 2 weeks later I get a letter with my date for my mri – the end of July. Here’s where things finally start picking up and getting better for me, don’t get me wrong, I was and still am in a lot of pain, but I was closer to getting answers than before and things were finally starting to happen. July came round and I got to go to the still deserted hospital, put on a very sexy gown and got my mri done.
A special thanks and mention for the lovely mri ladies who played music loud enough to actually drain out most of the machine and for having calming lighting in fading through the rainbow colours to make this scan a lot less stressful and claustrophobic. Y’all were amazing!
About 3 weeks go by and I get my results in the post!
And after years of back pain and many misdiagnosis, I found out that not only have I got some lower disc degeneration, but I also have congenial ‘reversal of the cervical lordosis’.
A mouthful I know. But what that essentially means is that the curve in my neck is going the opposite way to how it should be, and it’s something that I have no control over, so it’s not something I have caused from bad posture etc. So, the curve in your neck should be like a wide capital C, but mine is the wrong way round; most likely causing the rest of my spine to be aligned incorrectly and straining my muscles. And that is probably what has been causing my back pain for so long and why nothing I’ve been trying has been helping because all of the focus has been going towards the wrong part of my spine.
So, although I have sadly got something wrong with my spine that I can’t do too much about, I can’t quite describe how happy it made me actually getting a diagnosis after so many months of waiting and stressful tests. That may sound weird to some, being happy about finding something wrong with my spine, but after years of being told I’m too young to be in pain and that I look fine so I must be, it was a relief.
Now that I’ve finally found out what’s going on with me and my health, I’m hoping I can find a way to manage my pain and I’m looking into if there are any ways I can reverse the reversal of my neck curve!
I’m now waiting on an appointment to discuss what we’re going to do about my spine which is in December, so I’ll definitely give you an update in the new year. Part of me still can’t quite believe I’m so many years in and have only just found out what’s been causing my pain, but that’s a surprisingly short period of time compared to some of the stories I’ve heard; so I do feel very grateful for that.
And that is my spoonie journey so far! It’s taken years of not being believed, a lot of tears, days in bed and days wanting to just give up, but I feel like we’re finally getting somewhere.
Over the last few years I’ve learnt the importance of allowing yourself to take a break and that you do need to listen to your body. And if I need a day in bed, I’ll take a day in bed! You’ve got to be kind to yourself, if you’re having a bad pain day, it sucks and trying to be everything to everyone just isn’t always realistic and ignoring your pain signals can sometimes (usually always) make it worse the next day. So take a day when you need to, and know that it’s okay and you’re not alone.
Are you a part of the spoonie gang? I’m super interested to find out how long it took for your to get diagnosed, and how it made you feel. Let me know in the comments! And with that, I think that’s enough chattering away from me for today. Have a great weekend my lovelies and please stay safe!
Happy Saturday my lovelies! Can you believe we’re in September? It’s finally spooky season! As someone who loves Autumn and Winter, I can’t wait for Halloween and then Christmas, and the weather to get chillier. It’s this time of year when everyone starts to put away their Summer clothes and pull out their cosy jumpers and ankle boots.
And that leads me onto today’s post; as you may know, over the last few months I’ve been doing a sort of fashion challenge – project 333, and for the first 1 3/4 months it went great. And then, I sort of fell off of the project 333 wagon. But you know what, that’s ok.
I think part of the reason why I struggled to keep up with the project was because I hadn’t thought about how long 3 months really is, and in what 3 months I would actually have to keep my 33 items and the project going for. And what I’d completely forgotten was that Autumn would begin half way through the project. Which meant that my wardrobe of choice probably wouldn’t be suitable for the change in temperature.
Another reason why I failed the project was because I went on a bit of a shopping binge. You see, over the last few weeks I’ve really been thinking about the clothes I love and the style that I love to wear, and to tell you the truth I caved and went on a shopping spree and picked up a few new t-shirts, jeans, cardigans, jumpers and basically anything I loved that would fit with the aesthetic I love.
So yeah, I failed project 333, but that’s ok; because I learnt a lot from the project not only about the importance of trying to avoid fast fashion and being more conscious with clothes waste but also about my own sense of style and what makes me feel good. When I go shopping I try and stick to brands who are more eco conscious and have values I believe in.
What I have decided to do now, is donate the clothes that I don’t wear anymore, and put together a condensed capsule wardrobe of sorts with around 40 pieces of clothes and about 5 pairs of shoes. When I pick up anything new I give myself the task of thinking of at least 5 different outfits I can make with it before deciding if it’s something that is worth buying, so I’m not picking up one-wear-wonders.
So, what does my wardrobe contain now?
Well, I have a selection of t-shirts (I’ve been loving tying tee’s up with high waisted skirts and jeans), mom jeans (with one pair I have personalised with fabric markers, you can see them in the photo above), jumpers, cardigans and skirts.
Here’s some pieces from my updated wardrobe:
It’s funny looking back over the last few weeks at what’s changed and what hasn’t, one of the biggest changes being how much my hair has grown and that I’ve dyed it a dark auburn colour! Here’s a rough run down of what my entire wardrobe entails now:
And those are all of the items in my new wardrobe! There’s a few more classic items like a few more vest tops and black and white tshirts, but that’s about it for what I’ve got. I’ve also included my black military boots, some brown ankle boots, two pairs of platform trainers, black flats and a pair of white converse.
All that’s left is to find a dress that I like and feel comfortable in for lots of different occasions and I think that’ll be everything I need in my wardrobe. Another thing I’ve found a love for is gold jewellery and headbands. Headbands in particular at the moment because my hair is growing out and is in between styles, and these have been super helpful in helping me tame it a bit.
Even though I changed my capsule wardrobe from my project 333 one, looking back I still like all of the outfits I made with that wardrobe, but I feel a lot more happy with my updated one. I think my favourite items are the mom jeans, my personalised mom jeans, camel cardigan, printed t-shirts and my grey halter-neck waistcoat top.
Although I didn’t manage my three months with my 33 items, I don’t see it as a complete failure, because at the end of the day I found out what I do and don’t like to wear, which is one of the main goals of the project, so in some ways, the project was actually a success? I’m looking forward to seeing how my wardrobe evolves over the next few months, and if I can find a dress I feel comfortable and happy in. I think my new goal for my capsule wardrobe of sorts is to stay under 50 pieces in total, and not have many items I rarely wear.